DudeFest '99 Market Report

[JBMoney]

NEW DEVELOPMENTS:

DUNCAN COMING BACK TO CALIFORNIA
Yes, you heard it right. In the last week of May, Duncan will be driving back to California. In the short-term this is likely to cause instability in DudeFest '99 speculation, a market that already seems to be suffering from a lack of investor interest. Some analysts are quick to note, however, that the move by Duncan will no doubt increase market share in the west, thereby lowering transportation costs for all but the New Jersey markets (Favetti, Inc.). Consensus -- move DF from moderate sell to hold.

BRESSLER BOYS ON THE ROAD
From June 13 to July 4, the Bressler Boys Amalgamated (Rick & Cody) will be opening new markets in Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, South Dakota, Nebraska, Texas, New Mexico & Arizona. Sources have it that CTO John Bressler may also be helping with some hard sells in the later half of the trip, ending in the Grand Canyon. Some analysts have speculated that this "road show" is merely a showcase to make the firm more attractive as a DudeFest '99 takeover target. Consensus -- move BBA from hold to moderate buy.

Happy Investing,
The Bresslinator

[Favetti]

NEWSFLASH

In after hours trading, shares of Favetti, Inc. plummeted from 1-3/4 to 1/4 on recent news Jim(my) LLC was pulling out of the East Coast market. Officials from Jim(my) LLC stated the move is driven by a distinct lack of growth potential on the East Coast.

However, investors were also less than supportive of Jim(my) LLC's redirection citing an overly competitive marketplace with such giants as Bressler Boys Amalgamated and it non-affiliated subsidiary, JB Consulting LLP DBA: Bressler-Dot-Org. Jim(my) LLC dropped 1/2 to 2-1/2. CEO James Duncan said, "Well, I still 10 times better than that Favetti chump."

In related news, The Forum Trading Board CEO John Bressler is considering removal of Favetti, Inc. from the listing. "Who are they?" questioned Mr. Bressler. "I for one have never heard of them."

[Jimness]

Responding to recent drop in Jim(my) LLC's stock price, CEO James Duncan said,
"While it's true our stock drop a half a point, I want to assure investors that this is a sound company that's merely going through a transition. We feel the South Atlantic markets have reached their potential, but that there is untapped possibilities in the California market despite the competitive climate. We are an innovative company that will weather this setback and come back strong." Mr. Duncan also said that the remark about Favetti being a chump was erroneous, although he admitted that he may have once made a derogatory remark about Favetti's tie.