View Full Version : Co-workers...kill 'em all!
Sideout
08-06-03, 12:05 PM
Call this a good place to pile all those fun people we all work with...JB's middle urinal crew, the floor jumper, the bagel splitters, the boss's kids, etc, etc...
You get the idea ;)
I have a new one...I've had the pleasure of encountering such a person at all of my last three jobs...call him 'the hummingbird'
The humming bird likes to hover. He'll walk up while you're working and stand behind you. He doesn't talk. He may sigh a little...but he JUST STANDS THERE!
If you want something then open you're freakin' trap and ask me a question! I try to ignore him, maybe he'll get the hint...but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he just hovers...
Kill 'em all! :cool:
My boss is exactly like that! http://bushwhacked.net/forum/images/smilies/icon_35.gif
I hate co-workers who "really need to talk" to me, about their problems or other shit. I don't want to hear it, fuck off what your wife said, and screw it what your friend did, and I don't wanna hear what you watched on tv, if it involves me having eye contact with you and nod "hm-hm" every other sentence than fuck off, I am too busy posting shit on Bressler and unraveling conspiracies all over the net.:cool:
STIBROKER
08-06-03, 12:55 PM
side......uhhhhhh.....mmmmmm.....we need to talk about your TPS reports...
Riiii-----iiight...!:laugh:
ahh thats one of my favourite movies..
Sideout
08-06-03, 01:04 PM
LOL - I don't even have a cube wall to hide behind here.
Also...tell me if you ever seen this before...said Mr. Hummingbird has one other annoying habit...besides hovering...whenever he eats something, blows his nose, whatever...he gets up, walks in to our area and throws it away in our trash can...what's up with that? I think that's pretty rude man, and I can't for the life of me come up with the logic of why he does it :shrug:
gopsdragon
08-06-03, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by Sideout
I have a new one...I've had the pleasure of encountering such a person at all of my last three jobs...call him 'the hummingbird'
The humming bird likes to hover. He'll walk up while you're working and stand behind you. He doesn't talk. He may sigh a little...but he JUST STANDS THERE!
Maybe he's just a freak (no offense Freak) or maybe it's your reaction. The easiest way to F*** with JB's head is to every once in a while walk up and stare over his shoulder. You can watch the steam come out of his ears. It's great fun, although I do value my life which explains why I save it only for special occasions.
Sideout
08-06-03, 01:49 PM
LOL - I can see where doing it to agrivate JB makes a lot of sense...These guys don't do it to really look at what I'm doing...they want something but instead of just asking "are you busy?" or "got a sec?" they just stand there and lurk like it's my job to stop what I'm doing and ask them if they need something.
Originally posted by gopsdragon
Maybe he's just a freak (no offense Freak) or maybe it's your reaction. The easiest way to F*** with JB's head is to every once in a while walk up and stare over his shoulder. You can watch the steam come out of his ears. It's great fun, although I do value my life which explains why I save it only for special occasions.
LOL... now I wish I worked there, there would be no end to the number of ways i could annoy him! :laugh:
I had a hand puppet (pets.com sock puppet) that would on occasion travel with me as I made my rounds to visit friends around the office. Used to love making his head pop over cubical walls. I called him Sock-O. :)
...ahhhh, good times. :rolleyes:
JBMoney
08-06-03, 02:37 PM
There's a werid psychological thing going on with people insisting on walking behind a person's desk. That's bugs me, not necessarily staring over my shoulder.
I've purposely arranged my office and computers so that it's not only as inconvenient as possible to walk behind me, but that you can stand right in front of me to talk, without any obstruction. There are even chairs. You honestly have to make about a ten foot detour to get behind me, as I put myself at the far end of a big table (not actually a desk), and put a big upholstered chair at the end of the table.
But the first thing people will do is climb through this fucking maze to stand, not in front of me, but to my side and behind me a little (so that I have to completely disengage from the desk and swivel around, but they don't leave me enough room to actually stand). It's fucking bizarre.
I actually used to have a sign on my desk in big red letters that said, "DO NOT Walk behind the desk" (similar to the sign on my door that says, "DO NOT ENTER. If this door is closed and you are not [??] staff, please STAY OUT. This INCLUDES janitorial staff."'
And yes, I purposely make anyone who does it real uncomfortable, but that doesn't necessarily make it a unique event... as I need no excuse to do that to someone.
Sideout
08-06-03, 02:44 PM
Tell me about it...right now I'm in a pretty tight space with desk on 3 sides and an opening on my right...I'm doing everything I can to think of a way to re-arrange things so that people are in front of me so they have to actually carry on a conversation if they need something like a normal human being and not the bridge-dwelling troll that they are *grin*
Ether_Elemental
08-06-03, 02:51 PM
check this out here. where i work we're required to wear clean-spanking clothes tie polished shoes and smart black slacks. well the position i'm in as well as about 1/3rd of the rest of the people that work there as well have the job of helping customers taking stock from the floor and putting it onto the sheves but HERES the best part we're also supposed to work in our backstock rearranging everything and movies which is real dirty work what with dust being everywhere in the store and we're supposed to come back out without a spot on us and look presentable and we're not supposed to roll our long sleeved shirts up. if anyones ever done heavy lifting in a long sleeved dress shirt or can imagine it, it really isn't pretty
Originally posted by JBMoney
...so that I have to completely disengage from the desk...
Do people actually fucking talk like this?
Ether_Elemental
08-06-03, 02:55 PM
of course! ever watched star trek?
"Disengage warp phasers!"
gopsdragon
08-06-03, 02:56 PM
Originally posted by JDub
Do people actually fucking talk like this?
When they're pisst off yes. You can see how much fun it is. I haven't done it in weeks and it still has him riled. :laugh:
Sideout
08-06-03, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by JDub
Do people actually fucking talk like this?
That's technical speak for "you're making me close all the #^%$@ porn sites and web cams I'm viewing, put down the ^%$#@ mouse and actually turn my %@$^@ chair just to look at your ^@%#^%@ piehole and whatever @#%$@ will be spewing from it this time" :mad:
Originally posted by Sideout
That's technical speak for "you're making me close all the #^%$@ porn sites and web cams I'm viewing, put down the ^%$#@ mouse and actually turn my %@$^@ chair just to look at your ^@%#^%@ piehole and whatever @#%$@ will be spewing from it this time" :mad:
Oh, so he's just been brainwashed into being politically correct? :D
Sideout
08-06-03, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by JDub
Oh, so he's just been brainwashed into being politically correct? :D
I think it's the tie :confused:
JBMoney
08-06-03, 03:49 PM
Originally posted by gopsdragon
When they're pisst off yes. You can see how much fun it is. I haven't done it in weeks and it still has him riled. :laugh:
Ahh...ok. GOPS has this interesting perception of reality. He picks out these little things that he does completely by accident or without pre-planning, and than acts as if he's been sly & creative in some fashion.
I did not even refer to you in my post GOPS...
I'm explaining the phenomenon, as it's existed LONG before you came along (and mentioned in old posts I think)... and yeah, it still bugs me.
Does it bug me more when you do it? Were you the first person to do it? Do I even recall the last time you did it? Is it even remotely as irritating as your many personal quirks that you apparently have no control over? Ahh.. no... but it bugs me regardless.
The adults are trying to have a conversation GOPS. Move on to the fart thread.
I always arrange me areas so that no one can get behind me, and I can always see an exit. (must have rubbed off when I was back in 'Nam :rolleyes: )
In fact, the only way people can see me is if they specifically come into my area (I have a small walkway to my cube.) If they do come in, they are in a position that I also have to "disengage" from my workspace.
The bad thing is that sound carries, and some of the people around have the most annoying habbits ever. :nolike:
JBMoney
08-06-03, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Sideout
I think it's the tie :confused:
Haven't worn a tie since 1997. How about you guys? ;)
Originally posted by JBMoney
Haven't worn a tie since 1997. How about you guys? ;)
Depends, around what?:( :hehe:
Don't even get me started.. I won't be able to stop. Once I open that floodgate, there won't be any control.
STIBROKER
08-06-03, 05:10 PM
Originally posted by JBMoney
Haven't worn a tie since 1997. How about you guys? ;)
93.....94.....it has got to the point I do not even have to meet my client's.....sell them on the phone ...fax the application....and have them mail it to me.....
I'm just too busy to be wasting time wasting people.:confused:
Pistol Pete
08-06-03, 05:23 PM
My place of work is a zoo. The guy to the left of me has his radio on a station that plays the same 10 early 60s tunes over and over and over and....well, you get it. He also sucks his teeth, twice a day. Others do shit that make you think they don't know where they are.
The guy I really hate, is an arrogant, pompus, loud dickweed from marketing. You can't talk with this guy, he's the only one who's right on any subject! Just ask him. If I have to do any design that this prick is associated with, he will make on-going changes till hell freezes over! And all changes he wants, are changes to what he already said!! :nuts: He always has to have the last word about anything, no matter what! Marketing (read sales), should never have any input on designs.
And another thing, I hate for anyone to touch my screen. We have two touchers, and one of them I broke of touching mine by whacking him with a ruller. The pompus dickweed will delibrately touch it just to piss me off! So, after telling him 6 times today to not do it, he did it again and I whacked him with a ruller. Not the flat kind, but the 3 sided kind. I told him, and everyone in earshot that, the next time he does it I'm going to punch him right in the nuts! Which I will do. Fucker.
Originally posted by Pistol Pete
I whacked him with a ruller. Not the flat kind, but the 3 sided kind. I told him, and everyone in earshot that, the next time he does it I'm going to punch him right in the nuts! Which I will do. Fucker.
:scary: ouch!!!! Did you get him with the edge, that fucking hurts. Got in a ruler fight once with those, man do they hurt.
Pistol Pete
08-06-03, 05:36 PM
Originally posted by Ty
:scary: ouch!!!! Did you get him with the edge, that fucking hurts. Got in a ruler fight once with those, man do they hurt.
You bet I did. I wanted broken blood vessels :D
JasmineDreamz
08-06-03, 06:17 PM
Good one Pete. Now you can listen to him complain about all his intimate physical problems to no end on and on and on. My co-worker does this, she a hypocondriac and also a self-diagnosing patient who knows everything a doctor doesn't. I'm surprised she hasn't complained about not having a vasectomy yet. Maybe that's next. It's gotten to the point where when she does this, I let it go in one ear and out the other with no stopping in between. What really pisses me off is when she's sitting at the desk (we have to share one desk where I actually do the work) and she's shopping on the phone or setting up one of her twelve doctor appointments for the day. Then I get the joy of working overtime to cover for her when she's gone and we don't get overtime pay. On the days that she can't come in (due to being sick of course) my 11 hour days sure get long. Argh!!!:nolike:
I work in a small doctor's office. This include "the" doctor, 2 nurse practitioners, 3 receptionists, an audiologist, a "clinic coordinator," and me. For the most part, I love my job. I have great hours (9:30am-4pm) and when I need a day off, the doc is pretty flexible. He welcomes my input into his business, and praises me daily for the great job I do. This is unheard of by most doctors. So in that regard, I'm very lucky.
The ONLY person I occasionally have a problem with is the "clinic coordinator." She tends to want to change the policys on a daily basis, on a whim of her own leaving us peons to wonder. I still don't know to this day what her job is exactly, as she's very rarely even around. I know she does payroll. :shrug: At any rate, she tends to constantly attack the receptionists for petty little things, only she doesn't mention it once, but reminds them about the mistake for MONTHS!
They have no outlet, so they come to me. I feel bad for them that they have to come into the job every day and put up with that kind of criticism (which really isn't constructive.) For this reason, we haven't kept a receptionist for over 1 year. She's a control freak, as she hires only younger gals (no one over 25 yet) as in this way she can put up the intimidation front.
One of the receptionists, whom I really like, is now leaving because of her. :cry:
I've noticed women who work for women bosses DO NOT mix. :Fight:
Fortunately, she's not MY boss. The doc is. I'm just saying I feel for the others that have to answer to her.
I can see how difficult is it for them to go to work everyday and be constantly criticized for errors that are uneventful to the practice of the clinic, and it's not as though they are fucking up all the time. In my opinion and that of the NP's, they are very conscientous and detail-oriented.
Originally posted by JBMoney
Haven't worn a tie since 1997. How about you guys? ;)
At work? 1993. I wore a tie at my daughter's wedding in June though. :sure:
Sideout calls them hummingbirds but I call them parrots. I was in the computer room a few weeks ago working on a failed Solaris boot disk with my boss and another coworker parked on my shoulders. So close I could feel their breath on the back of my neck while they watched every key I typed.... this lasted all of about 20 seconds (an eternity in my mind) when I turned around and unkindly told them to get the fuck off my back. A crisis is not a time to receive training... at least not from me. I'll show what I did after it's fixed.
Sideout
08-07-03, 08:05 AM
yeah...parrots work for that type...hummingbirds don't care what you're doing...they just hover off to the side LOL
I feel you're pain though, you're still workin' over there...maybe sometime we'll elighten bressler with the itchy & scratchy story? *grin*
Originally posted by JBMoney
Haven't worn a tie since 1997. How about you guys? ;)
A tie? Half the time, I don't even bother wearing pants. :sure:
Originally posted by Sideout
...maybe sometime we'll elighten bressler with the itchy & scratchy story? *grin*
*shudders* I'm trying to forget. :nolike:
Perhaps wearing this to work will help to let others know how we REALLY feel about them.
We have someone who works here and picks their nose and wipes it on the partitions......how old are we??
If they are caught, it has already been determined thru inter-office law that they will be strung up by their private parts and beat with baseball bats.
Sideout
08-07-03, 02:22 PM
Eagle and I determined right away that Medical students trashed a bathroom in the same fashion, but worse than a group of 4th graders...it was just stupid :mad:
Originally posted by JBMoney
And yes, I purposely make anyone who does it real uncomfortable, but that doesn't necessarily make it a unique event... as I need no excuse to do that to someone.
Well, well, Mr. Almighty. :worthy:
Originally posted by Ether_Elemental
check this out here. where i work we're required to wear clean-spanking clothes tie polished shoes and smart black slacks. well the position i'm in as well as about 1/3rd of the rest of the people that work there as well have the job of helping customers taking stock from the floor and putting it onto the sheves but HERES the best part we're also supposed to work in our backstock rearranging everything and movies which is real dirty work what with dust being everywhere in the store and we're supposed to come back out without a spot on us and look presentable and we're not supposed to roll our long sleeved shirts up. if anyones ever done heavy lifting in a long sleeved dress shirt or can imagine it, it really isn't pretty
I feel for ya!
Don't even get me started on that subject!!!
OK......briefly. I can't help myself.
Our company moved to a new building last Sunday and prior to this move a couple of emails were sent out about the Dress Code policy. Much different from our normal dress code. No jeans, tennis shoes, capri pants, sandals, blah, blah blah. OK, fine. No more jeans on Fridays. Big deal. But the rest of the policy.... Women should wear dresses or skirts or pants with leather shoes and stockings or socks as appropriate. It was fucking 110 degrees today!! They are fucking crazy if they think they are going to make me wear a pair of fucking pantyhose in this Texas heat!! ARGHHHHHH!!! Sorry for the sailor language, but it is a huge issue with me! We don't even deal with any customers of any sort. All of our communications are done by phone, fax, or email. Nobody even SEES us! (This is why I said, "don't get me started") We should be able to wear jeans or shorts everyday since we never deal with any customers in person.
Well, I complied on Day 1. I wore black pants, a frilly shirt, and thin black socks/stockings with closed-toed leather shoes.
The rest of the week.......FUCK IT! I wore sundresses and sandals. Fortunately, most of the other women in the company did the same thing.
If they try to insist I wear pantyhose in this fucking heat they have another thing coming!
Whew. I feel better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
PWB!!
Originally posted by Pistol Pete
And another thing, I hate for anyone to touch my screen.
:OOPS: Oh dear.
I kinda jumped on my husband for doing that the other night and he took a huge offence to it. I tried to explain that it was a build up of frustration from people doing that at work, but it still offended him. I still feel bad about it.
I try to point at the monitor without touching or I use the closed end of a pen to point.
Am I being too sensitive or should others have more manners?
I don't know!! My parents didn't teach me computer monitor or cubicle etiquette when I was a kid! :confused:
Originally posted by JasmineDreamz
Good one Pete. Now you can listen to him complain about all his intimate physical problems to no end on and on and on. My co-worker does this, she a hypocondriac and also a self-diagnosing patient who knows everything a doctor doesn't. I'm surprised she hasn't complained about not having a vasectomy yet. Maybe that's next. It's gotten to the point where when she does this, I let it go in one ear and out the other with no stopping in between. What really pisses me off is when she's sitting at the desk (we have to share one desk where I actually do the work) and she's shopping on the phone or setting up one of her twelve doctor appointments for the day. Then I get the joy of working overtime to cover for her when she's gone and we don't get overtime pay. On the days that she can't come in (due to being sick of course) my 11 hour days sure get long. Argh!!!:nolike:
OMG! I work with the same people you all work with!!!!
eek!!
Calgon, take me away!
Originally posted by cuda
I've noticed women who work for women bosses DO NOT mix. :Fight:
Women are extremely difficult to work with/for.
It's much better with a mix of men and women.
Peckable
08-08-03, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by Texan
:OOPS: I try to point at the monitor without touching or I use the closed end of a pen to point.
Am I being too sensitive or should others have more manners?
I don't know!!
No, you're right and Yeah, what the hell is up with that? If I had one of those Harry Potter wands, I change anybody who fingered my monitor into a moth, so they would at least have a good excuse for bashing the screen. :mad: :mad: :mad:
One more week until my blonde paperweight goes back to school and I'll tell you the whole nightmare I've lived this summer. I will probably be drinking at my desk by 10am on Friday.
Originally posted by Texan
I feel for ya!
Don't even get me started on that subject!!!
OK......briefly. I can't help myself.
Our company moved to a new building last Sunday and prior to this move a couple of emails were sent out about the Dress Code policy. Much different from our normal dress code. No jeans, tennis shoes, capri pants, sandals, blah, blah blah. OK, fine. No more jeans on Fridays. Big deal. But the rest of the policy.... Women should wear dresses or skirts or pants with leather shoes and stockings or socks as appropriate. It was fucking 110 degrees today!! They are fucking crazy if they think they are going to make me wear a pair of fucking pantyhose in this Texas heat!! ARGHHHHHH!!! Sorry for the sailor language, but it is a huge issue with me! We don't even deal with any customers of any sort. All of our communications are done by phone, fax, or email. Nobody even SEES us! (This is why I said, "don't get me started") We should be able to wear jeans or shorts everyday since we never deal with any customers in person.
Well, I complied on Day 1. I wore black pants, a frilly shirt, and thin black socks/stockings with closed-toed leather shoes.
The rest of the week.......FUCK IT! I wore sundresses and sandals. Fortunately, most of the other women in the company did the same thing.
If they try to insist I wear pantyhose in this fucking heat they have another thing coming!
Whew. I feel better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
PWB!!
Damn, Texan! I worked for a company a few years ago where we did most of our contracts by phone, fax, email. We very rarely saw our clients, or anyone outside of our little work-family. We were allowed to wear shorts, tank tops, sandals, jeans, and sweatshirts. That is the one thing I loved about that job. When we DID have a client coming in, it was scheduled and THEN we were just emailed on it, telling us to wear "dress-casual."
I feel for ya, girl, I really do. I can't imagine wearing anything but sandals and shorts in your Texas heat. Bras for that matter, too. :D
JasmineDreamz
08-09-03, 12:45 PM
Oh Texan, brilliant idea here....have all the women in your office wear the dresses, socks, etc like the dress code says too...BUT take your fashion design from MiMi on Drew Carey and show up looking like clown escapees. :nuts: Pick a day and have everyone agree to do it that day.
Jas,
That's a great idea, but the funny thing is......we used to do that kind of stuff on Fridays!!
We had a theme for every Friday and most of the people in the office participated. It was tons of fun. We would do funky hairstyles, mismatched clothing, bizarre make-up, hat day, wear all your jewelry at once, funky footwear (I wore multi-colored, striped toe-socks with bright orange flip-flops.) It was fun and actually encouraged team-building.
One of our supervisors was a professional clown and she would sometimes dress as her clown persona. She transferred out of the department, so as a good-bye treat, people on her team
dressed as clowns. It was so cute and sweet.
Our new work environment would never allow this type of behavior. :(
Incognito
08-11-03, 09:37 AM
I'm gonna set my webcam up at work, Thursday 8/14 11am-4pm EDT. You all won't believe it. Anyone that wants to see, pm me and I'll give you my Yahoo information.
Barb101
08-11-03, 09:58 AM
Ok, but who the hell are you? :D :p
We are implementing a dress code starting next monday. I have to give up my jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes and ball caps and start wearing dockers, nice shoes, and " Dress or casual shirts that present a professional appearance, such as oxfords, polo, or golf, blouses, sweaters, dress tops or turtlenecks."
I don't really have any nice clothes, other than stuff I wear to clubs, etc. so I have to do some shopping this week. I really hate shopping by the way.
Truthfully, I couldn't care less about what they require me to wear. They write my checks, which I like to get, so I figure why not.
The problem is that there are a bunch of people bitching about this, and are threatening to quit. I can't believe it. There are some childish people here, that have been spoiled by the company for years.
The good thing about me dressing nice, is the wife likes it, and will probably jump me more offten.:dance: :!: :sperm: :smokin:
Originally posted by Freak
...The good thing about me dressing nice, is the wife likes it, and will probably jump me more offten.:dance: :!: :sperm: :smokin:
LOL... they let you wear laytex and leather hoods? :laugh:
Originally posted by cuda
LOL... they let you wear laytex and leather hoods? :laugh:
No, we go for chain mail, rope and handcuffs, and don't forget the ball gags.:whip:
Originally posted by Freak
No, we go for chain mail, rope and handcuffs, and don't forget the ball gags.:whip:
:o :worry:
Incognito
08-11-03, 05:08 PM
Originally posted by Barb101
Ok, but who the hell are you? :D :p
You know me intimately , sweetie ;)
ya tease :Peck:
Originally posted by Barb101
Ok, but who the hell are you? :D :p
ROTF
wrecker05
08-13-03, 02:35 AM
My office is perfect. It has four wheels. It is dark blue and has a large round red overhead light on it.
I really can't complain about the dress code too much.It is warm especially with my vest on underneath.But I am allowed many accessories that are cool I guess, a 9MM , 2 extra magazines,handcuffs, pepper spray, an ASP and an ink pen.(to name a few)
My co-workers are pretty cool. Some annoy me, some don't. I annoy a few myself.All in all I have a perfect job.:D
Sideout
08-13-03, 06:46 AM
Originally posted by wrecker05
My office is perfect. It has four wheels. It is dark blue and has a large round red overhead light on it.
I really can't complain about the dress code too much.It is warm especially with my vest on underneath.But I am allowed many accessories that are cool I guess, a 9MM , 2 extra magazines,handcuffs, pepper spray, an ASP and an ink pen.(to name a few)
My co-workers are pretty cool. Some annoy me, some don't. I annoy a few myself.All in all I have a perfect job.:D
Just remember your happy attitude if I'm ever in your office :OOPS:
Incognito
08-14-03, 04:02 PM
Did I lie?
Barb101
08-14-03, 04:38 PM
Damn desk ornament cutworms! :nolike: :what: :p
Sideout
08-14-03, 05:16 PM
LOL :hehe:
Incognito
08-15-03, 04:46 PM
here's the proof.. now I'm through bitching..it's over
Oh, darn, I missed it. Thanks for the screen shot.
HOORAY, IT'S OVER!!!
Ether_Elemental
08-16-03, 11:14 PM
i had some reps that work where i do and i had them d/l Jb's pingu dance song and play it. none of them lasted through the first quarter of the song. personally i think its hilarious
Okay, this was going to go in the "f you" thread, but I thought I would rant here.
Hi Freak
I have researched the issue with your spouse life insurance option. I apologize there was an error when the entry was initially made. Your benefits enrollment forms did indicate $xxx spouse life insurance election. I have updated this in our system. You will see $xxx as your chosen option when you receive your open enrollment confirmation form. Additionally, the rate for the $xxx spouse life option is $2.75/pay period. You were only being charged .55 cents the $x option, so you will see an additional amount withheld from your next check since this change was made retroactively to 8/1/2004.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at 1-800-YOU-SUCK, option 6. Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.
Jane Doe
Employee Services
The deal is I chose $xxx for spouse life when I first did my forms in late July. They had mistakenly inputed the $x option. It was their mistake. Sure I should have checked to see if everything is correct, but here, everything is so messed up that it is hard to spot this error. (It is a hassle just getting your pay statement, I have only gotten a couple.)
Now, I couln't care less about the extra $15 bucks or so that will be taken from me, but WTF? Why do they need to go retroactive? It's not like my wife died in the last few months. Had something happened, yeah, ok, go retro. Geesh Am I the only one that thinks this is stupid?
The question is, if she did die (thank God she didn't) in that time period, would you have gotten the larger amount of proceeds????
Freak, don't try to figure it out, Human resource people and office administrators come from another planet and speak another language.
STIBROKER
11-18-04, 08:41 AM
Okay, this was going to go in the "f you" thread, but I thought I would rant here.
The deal is I chose $xxx for spouse life when I first did my forms in late July. They had mistakenly inputed the $x option. It was their mistake. Sure I should have checked to see if everything is correct, but here, everything is so messed up that it is hard to spot this error. (It is a hassle just getting your pay statement, I have only gotten a couple.)
Now, I couln't care less about the extra $15 bucks or so that will be taken from me, but WTF? Why do they need to go retroactive? It's not like my wife died in the last few months. Had something happened, yeah, ok, go retro. Geesh Am I the only one that thinks this is stupid?
Well when talking to my clients I tell them it's in there best intrest to get there life insurance outside of the job because if you ever leave that job you life insurance stays there. If they go to a job with no benie's then you have no life insurance.
I asked the person on the phone Dave. Since I chose the higher option in the first place, yes, I would have gotten that amount.
Yeah Sti, we have outside insurance. I enrolled in the work one also because it is pretty cheap. Plus it's more money when I off her. ;)
RicardoHead
11-18-04, 08:54 AM
I don't plan on dyin'. :cool:
STIBROKER
11-18-04, 08:56 AM
I asked the person on the phone Dave. Since I chose the higher option in the first place, yes, I would have gotten that amount.
Yeah Sti, we have outside insurance. I enrolled in the work one also because it is pretty cheap. Plus it's more money when I off her. ;)
good move peterson.....
RicardoHead
08-02-05, 10:12 PM
The greatest weapon yet devised (http://www.officeguns.com/gunadv_super_maul.html) to kill your co-worker.
Or at least inflict some good damage.
RicardoHead
06-15-06, 11:30 AM
Okay, today there is a chick roaming the offices here ranting and bitching about her female co-workers. Seems a really important issue has come up which needs a female group consensus, and the consensus was not in her favor.
The really important issue - one that truly requires major office disruption - is that the irate chick thinks the woman's restroom should have "Brown Sugar Vanilla" pump-soap in it, and the other gals are happy with the standard anti-bacterial SoftSoap in there. They think the brown sugar stuff stinks. So she-bitch is throwing a tantrum because she wants her fluffy stinky-ass soap in the can, and I (mr. voice-of-reason) and the nay-saying wenches come up with the truly brilliant compromise of "uhhhhhhhhh - why don't you just leave your pump-soap on the counter in the woman's room next to the SoftSoap and use it and drop the fuckin issue, bitch?" but this is not acceptable to her because "a bathroom should only have one kind of soap!", you know ...... :nolike:
Anyway, I told the gals to dump on the bitch and stick to their guns about the un-chic dual soap solution. If she doesn't knock off the shit I will then have to issue a decree that anti-bacterial SoftSoap is now the company standard - which will undoubtedly require a policy be written, and someone in this fuckin state will sue us for it. Fuckin dummass people - where's Pistol Pete's gun when I need it? .... :bore:
get an empty tissue roll and do what a man has to do Grasshopper
leave a nice floater for her
Pistol Pete
06-15-06, 11:49 AM
Here ya go, RH. Let her have it.
RicardoHead
06-15-06, 12:52 PM
Skank-Update:I left a floater and whipped out Pete's pistol and now she-bitch is shutting up. I think she realized what a fuckin fool she made of herself, and so now she wants to buy a couple pizzas for everyone to munch on at lunch. When she asked what toppings I want I told her none because I am going for a run, and I saw her eye do that psycho-twitch like she was about to lose it, but she managed to stay under control.
smutman
06-15-06, 02:09 PM
Isnt it funny how they always want to stuff their faces with food after everything.And they wonder why they turn into Prime beef on the hoof!!
Isnt it funny how they always want to stuff their faces with food after everything.And they wonder why they turn into Prime beef on the hoof!!
Man, we have a couple of hogs here that I would never get between them and free food. Honestly, they lose their fucking minds as soon as an e-mail goes out that there's free leftovers from and event in the kitchen. Like sharks in a feeding frenzy.
btw - nice 1911 Pete. :thumbsup:
Omigod, I hate working in the real world. We got a new "girl", to replace the dumb/sweet/redneck hottie that just quit. This one is her total opposite. She was probably hot when she was younger, not that you can tell how old she is. Long blonde hair, nice body, too much perfume.. she looks 60 in the face, though. She came from the mortgage field and she's a TOTAL bitch. She knew it all by day 2. She doesn't like the commission structure and doesn't like the pace we're required to sustain. She spends her day outlining everything. Everything. She and I are already rubbing each other the wrong way. She started it. I swear, she started it. The clincher was today. She left to take care of some personal business and I was starting to tell the office alpha bitch that something the new girl was doing was getting on my nerves. I prefaced it by saying that it wasn't personal. She uses the same "techniques" that used to piss me off as an office manager. Not properly identifying yourself on the phone and things like that. That's about the time she walked in. She missed the part where I said it was my problem, not hers. She didn't say anything. Whatever. I'll end up getting written up for not playing well with others.
Pistol Pete
06-22-06, 06:59 PM
Kimmy, I love it when people show up at the end of a conversation and all they hear is, "Speaking of homos...." :hehe:
:laugh: thanks, Pete.. I needed a laugh :Peck:
I was invited to come talk to my manager after the office alpha dog reported to him that "the estrogen around Kim and the new girl is so thick you can cut it with a knife". It seems he'd already noticed and was waiting for me to bring it up. I wasn't imagining things and she has a noticeable attitude towards me. At least I didn't get written up and I feel better after talking to him. Her perfume still gives me asthma attacks, though.
Pistol Pete
06-25-06, 06:36 PM
Asthma attacks? That's an offensive weapon, that is! You can get her canned under federal law dealing with EPA guidelines in the workplace. The EEOC also has rules against stinky people. She can also be had for violating the Helsinki Accords of 1925 dealing with chemical and biological weapons. Go for the throat! :thumbsup:
RicardoHead
06-25-06, 08:10 PM
There is truth to that. If a co-worker's perfumes are causing an allergic reaction among other workers, the employer might be compelled to ban perfume and cologne use in the workplace.
They made her wash on the second day, because she wore so much and the rest of the department was choking. Now, she wears less, but I still can't get near her, which I guess is for the best
How do you tell a co-worker that their B.O. is so offensive that you are about to pass out? In a polite way. :shrug:
Ether_Elemental
06-27-06, 03:03 AM
just say loudly and to noone in particular, "WOW! Whats the gawdawful smell?! Its enough to knock someone unconscious!" Or just get then one of those happy rabbit stickers where the rabbit is smiling and holding its nose and theres a caption underneath it saying, "You stink."
just say loudly and to noone in particular, "WOW! Whats the gawdawful smell?!
I've done that before!! I was working at a flower shop and suddenly, there was an overpowering smell. I asked what in the hell is that smell, sewer gas?!! You should have seen the look on those women's faces! Turns out, the owner has had a gastric bypass and that's one of the side effects. :OOPS:
Barb101
06-27-06, 06:22 AM
How do you tell a co-worker that their B.O. is so offensive that you are about to pass out? In a polite way. :shrug:
I had a co-worker once that always smelled horrible. We gave her an anonymous body & bath basket with all kinds of scented soaps & whatnots in it. She actually stopped reeking for a while.
How do you tell a co-worker that their B.O. is so offensive that you are about to pass out? In a polite way. :shrug:
You drag them outside and hit them with a fire hose. Politeness was tossed out the window as soon as they came in smelling that bad. We dragged a guy up to the flight deck once when we were washing planes and hit him with firehoses, washsticks (scotchbrite pads), and aircraft washing compound. He made the connection.
RicardoHead
06-27-06, 08:18 AM
Wipe shit on your body and go visit her. When she tells you you stink, tell her "I know, but I'd rather smell like shit than smell your fuckin B.O."
That should get the point across.
RicardoHead
06-27-06, 11:29 AM
Okay, I think I am witnessing ..... as I type ..... the stupidest herd of humans to have ever existed.
6 of them .... SIX! .... are trying to ...... change a fucking lightbulb.
NO SHIT.
It's a flourescent tube - you know - the kind you have to twist 90° to get out. They don't know how to remove it. I am patiently waiting for them to pop the statement ... "RH, we are dumber than lightbulbs .... can you help?" but I know they wont because they know how ruthless my answer will be.
The best part is .... 2 of them are engineers! :bore:
STIBROKER
06-27-06, 01:24 PM
anybody knows that you have the engineer grab it from the bottom and the other 5 lift him sideways 90°...................
RicardoHead
06-27-06, 02:31 PM
It ended up taking the freak squad more than 20 minutes to figure it out. That's over 2 man-hours to change a freakin bulb. You should have seen the goons beaming with pride... :what:
I need to be prepared to call someone a c*nt, without actually calling her a c*nt. I've been keeping my distance from the new girl because the more she does her thing, the better I look.. but, she's confrontational and irrational. I know she's going to go off on me, soon. Probably when she gets her commission check tomorrow. I don't want to blow it by losing my temper, but I want to make my point. Throw me some lines, please.
This could be a good hate club thread, But being human and having to deal with a known jackass's bottom line is you have to be the better person. Having said that it is easy to dwell on the "what if" confrontation and most normally they never turn out like I'd like anyways. So besides coming out and saying your a nasty f*cking c*nt what would be your point? I mean you need this job and like you said new girl so she is under her 90 day trial right? Unless she is screwing the boss then you'll be alright. And even then that might be her down fall in the long run. I mean that is all seriousness keep your distance that is the best medicine.
Knock'em dead Kimmy:thumbsup:
JasmineDreamz
08-10-06, 07:54 AM
If she goes nuts, gets in your face and starts bitching to you just keep your mouth shut, look at her and smile when she's finished and tell her you prefer not to discuss it (or another one that sometimes works is: why do you want to know?) and the just turn and walk away from her. Let her stand there with her mouth hanging open and looking like an idiot.
You drag them outside and hit them with a fire hose. Politeness was tossed out the window as soon as they came in smelling that bad. We dragged a guy up to the flight deck once when we were washing planes and hit him with firehoses, washsticks (scotchbrite pads), and aircraft washing compound. He made the connection.
Yeah man you are old school they can't do that anymore because of rights violations and freedom to stink! I bet once ol' boy got terco in his eyes that was reason enough to hit the rainlocker at least daily if not more:thumbsup:
I'm guessing her commission is next to nothing and your's pretty good?
Well, after her tirade you can just sniff the air, say "hmmmm..." and walk away. Usually in confrontational situations like that the less you do/say the better you look and worse they feel. You do want her to feel bad right? ;) :hehe:
shotglass
08-10-06, 08:13 AM
After her tirade is over, simply say "Why don't you bring this up again in 5 days, when you can discuss it calmly and rationally?" The men may not catch this one right off the bat, but the women will be ROFL.
After her tirade is over, simply say "Why don't you bring this up again in 5 days, when you can discuss it calmly and rationally?" The men may not catch this one right off the bat, but the women will be ROFL.
or you can say, "My, someone put their maxi-pad on backwards today". :p
Spotter
08-10-06, 09:53 AM
After her tirade is over, simply say "Why don't you bring this up again in 5 days, when you can discuss it calmly and rationally?"And you can follow that with a rimshot :laugh:
shotglass
08-10-06, 02:01 PM
"My, someone put their maxi-pad on backwards today".
How about this?
"Next time, honey, remember that the sticky side goes DOWN!" :laugh:
Rguess21
08-10-06, 04:32 PM
After her rant ends counter, as you turn & walk away, keeping it short & simple. "And your point was?" or "You know what they say, commissions speak louder than words." or "I was wondering when you'd catch on." or, "Ya, sucks to be you." or "I really empathize with your neighbors." or "F O smegma breath."- no wait, nevermind that last one.
I appreciate everyone's suggestions, but I've seen her argue with customers over less. I'm not projecting what I think is going to happen.. it's already happening, right in front of my eyes. It's all slowling coming to a head. I've never seen an attitude like this in my life. Ever. Everyone thought it was a personal problem between the two of us, but it's not. It's spread to the whole office. We don't have a 90 day probation period, either. I think they're trying to build a paper trail with her, but in the meantime, the rest of us are going through hell.
Spotter
08-10-06, 09:05 PM
but in the meantime, the rest of us are going through hell.Do you remember the scene in "Full Metal Jacket" with the bars of soap wrapped in the towels?
Pistol Pete
08-10-06, 09:26 PM
There's one guy at work I'd love to cold-cock. He has only three lines:"Hey, partner (always putting his right hand out, palm down when he says it); settle down there; you're gettin' a little bit radical." It's the same every day, every year. Think of a redneck that all jokes over his head. He gets a thrill by making turkey sounds.
The guy to the right of me sounds like he's squishing macaroni & cheeze when he types. He's a religious fanatic. I call him 'Mister Potato Head'.
The macaroni guy and a woman nearby, clip their nails. I HATE THAT HIGH PITCHED TINKING NOISE!!
The "tinking" woman pawns off her work on other people so she can talk on the phone to her whore daughter. Yes, we hear every word.
My supervisor gets on the phone as soon as he get there. If no one calls him, he calls somebody. He's so loud you can hear him anywhere in our half of the building. We all know his bank account number and all of his family bullshit. Since he's on the bonus plan, he takes off when ever he wants and it isn't counted against him (typical democrap). The 'tinking' woman and network Nazi are also on the bonus plan. They deny it exists but will jump right in if anyone mentions it. One of the communists, mentioned below, inadvertently spilled the beans.
The "bean spiller" has the ego of Stalin. Anything he tells someone to do, is roundly denied minutes later and accompanied with many changes. He will not do a damn thing unless his guru (our guru) says it's OK. He will not make any decisions on his own, lest they be turned down by the guru and therefore cast a negative light on him. He is abusive and a turd. He is also head of marketing.
The guru tells us all the time how "we" don't want any big jobs. How "we' just want the crumbs. He kills off any innovative product ideas. We use to be one the major manufacturers and suppliers! He's always on about 'earth' shit and how we can all come together with terrorists if we just talk to them, and how Republicans are destroying the country. He's got money falling out of his ass, by the way. He gives me shit any time he gets the chance during meetings, even if I haven't said anything. Of course, I always hammer the bastard back in front of everybody. Fuck him. He's such a shithead and needs to be locked up in a camp untill he starves after two weeks.
The Network Nazi (also a bonus boy) will sneak up, do a two-step Nazi stomp, and then proceed to screw up the computers with some sort of 'upgrade'. This usually entails adding more spy software for the company. He likes to catch anyone on the internet and then tells them they are clogging the bandwidth of the entire corporation. He has program that allows him to look at anyone's screen to see what they are doing. He's boasted about it and showed me how it works. He can even take over the cursors on people's computers. He's a shithead, too.
Two other guys brush their teeth after lunch and leave that foamy shit in the sink! (that's just fuckin' gross!) :nolike:
We have a mystery shitter. I really think it's the "Hey, partner" guy.
The head of sales is gone 4 days out of 5. One of the customer service people routes calls to us instead of a sister company in Canada.
Three communists are department heads. (guru, marketing, engineering supervisor)
Kill 'em all!! :rocketwho
JasmineDreamz
08-11-06, 07:12 AM
Kimmy, paper trail huh? Then get yourself a little spiral notebook (one of the little bitty ones) and when she starts her ranting just flip it open and start taking notes of what she says. Keep quiet the whole time she's ranting and just let her go on about it. When she's finished (or you've had enough) just flip it back shut, smile, and say thank you and walk away. That should make her squirm while she wonders what you're going to do with it. Or you could pass it around to the bystanders who heard her too and have them sign it. You probably won't have to do anything with what you've written. Written observations and documentation. Make her wonder.l
smutman
08-11-06, 11:35 AM
You should be writing down the date,time,what was said and by who,and any witnesses.This will protect YOU when this psycho tries to nail YOU! I had a boss once who harassed me and the other employees all the time.One day he asked what was in my notebook,and I said it was everything that will be in my lawsuit against YOU if you keep it up.It scared the FUCK out of him!!! Protect yourself!
smutman
08-11-06, 11:37 AM
P.S. Pistol Pete,you need to find a new place to work.
Pistol Pete
08-11-06, 06:37 PM
P.S. Pistol Pete,you need to find a new place to work.
No shit. However, I've been with the company for 25 years, get 30 days a year off and they pay me to do Photoshop and animation stuff. I even find time to do PS headshots of them. Oh, I get even with those headshots. :evil:
STIBROKER
08-11-06, 06:41 PM
No shit. However, I've been with the company for 25 years, get 30 days a year off and they pay me to do Photoshop and animation stuff. I even find time to do PS headshots of them. Oh, I get even with those headshots. :evil:
Pete...what is your job title and job discrip....
Rguess21
08-11-06, 09:37 PM
token okie:)
Pistol Pete
08-12-06, 11:37 AM
Pete...what is your job title and job discrip....
Hell, I don't know. Some sort of senior engineering technician. I do design drawings for the routing of heating cable on pipe systems, like in a refinery or power plant or even Merck Pharmaceuticals. Sometimes it's a snow melting design, such as, we did the observation deck and plaza at the Rockefeller Center in NYC last year and the NY Port Authority bus terminal. I also make illustrations for training and marketing. They want to go to more picture-oriented instructions for international use where the people don't read english. You know, like in our public schools.
The best part is the bigs guys don't know how the programs work, so I can tell them anything and they don't know the difference. I just started messing with Flash-8 two days ago. They'll buy software of they think it will make stuff look cooler. And of course, I have a CD-DVD burner at my disposal. :smokin:
token okie:)
Yassa, massa. I be good tokie, massa. I only take 154 breaks a day, massa.:whip:
They want to go to more picture-oriented instructions for international use where the people don't read english. You know, like in our public schools.
So that includes speaking it as well? Because I know several people can't read english but can somewhat speak it:laugh:
I only take 154 breaks a day
being nominated for "Milker of the day":worthy:
Ether_Elemental
08-14-06, 11:00 AM
The Network Nazi (also a bonus boy) will sneak up, do a two-step Nazi stomp, and then proceed to screw up the computers with some sort of 'upgrade'. This usually entails adding more spy software for the company. He likes to catch anyone on the internet and then tells them they are clogging the bandwidth of the entire corporation. He has program that allows him to look at anyone's screen to see what they are doing. He's boasted about it and showed me how it works. He can even take over the cursors on people's computers. He's a shithead, too.
sounds like you got yourself a Bastard Operator From Hell (http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/) (BOFH) wannabe there.
Sideout
08-14-06, 12:39 PM
BOFH is standard reading for anyone in computer support - Eagle and I have know about this for years :thumbsup: The old stuff from the beginning is classic...
Pistol Pete
08-14-06, 07:50 PM
sounds like you got yourself a Bastard Operator From Hell (http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/) (BOFH) wannabe there.
He also purses his lips, chin up high, and gives 'the look' to one side. Sort of like Colonel Klinck. He's a religeous fanatic, too.
One of the women in sales has been known to try and 'suck up' to her boss. He gave her an ass chewing about it after a road trip. I'm sure her husband wouldn't approve, nor her boss' wife. He certainly didn't. In fact, when she was head of our department (shudder the memory) she had deer eyes for every word the guru would utter during meetings. Smiles and nods abounded with each syllable. Some of us thought about gang-banging her but no one wanted to use their own dick. She also totally sucked at being a manager. No amount of changes or screw ups on her part were too many. I would be making cable routing drawings and she would make several revisions without telling me untill I had printed the first ones. She would, and still does, sit on a quote or job for weeks and then tells us we have 2-days to complete 100+ drawings or the penalty clause kicks in. That's what got her transferred into sales. Besides, she never gave me a knobber, so piss on her.
BOFH is standard reading for anyone in computer support - Eagle and I have know about this for years :thumbsup: The old stuff from the beginning is classic...
Removing the floor tiles in the server room to trap the electrician is pure genius. :evil:
Sideout
08-15-06, 02:07 PM
As long as you cut the power to the room first ;)
Ether_Elemental
08-15-06, 06:31 PM
don't forget to tell them that the flashlight is on the table, and kinda omit the part where its on the other side of the hole.
New Girl went off on me (just like I predicted), in front of many witnesses. My manager finally realizes that it's not a catfight. He thinks she has some emotional problems and has focused on me. His theory is, she needs to be the center of attention and she's jealous of my relationship with the office alpha dog. I agree, she has some kind of mental/drug problem, but I think his theory is way off. Either way, I can't work in this situation. I'm on pins and needles all the time and she's absolutely useless in the office. We're all coping by pretending that she isn't in the same department. The alpha dog has been on vacation and I've been covering for her. I had to set and work the sale, with no help. It turned out to be the biggest sale of the year, one of the top twenty of the past twenty years. I'm stressed, exhausted and ready to look for another job.
Spotter
09-01-06, 07:02 AM
If it was witnessed by many and the manager knows it isn't you, then why are they keeping her around???
ready to look for another job
You can do it....Really it's about you and if they the management are not able to make a command decision then you need another job with a better work environment
Go get'm Kimmy:!!!:
glockmail
09-01-06, 07:51 AM
If it was witnessed by many and the manager knows it isn't you, then why are they keeping her around??? Wimpy management style- all too common.
smutman
09-01-06, 11:48 AM
New Girl went off on me (just like I predicted), in front of many witnesses. My manager finally realizes that it's not a catfight. He thinks she has some emotional problems and has focused on me. His theory is, she needs to be the center of attention and she's jealous of my relationship with the office alpha dog. I agree, she has some kind of mental/drug problem, but I think his theory is way off. Either way, I can't work in this situation. I'm on pins and needles all the time and she's absolutely useless in the office. We're all coping by pretending that she isn't in the same department. The alpha dog has been on vacation and I've been covering for her. I had to set and work the sale, with no help. It turned out to be the biggest sale of the year, one of the top twenty of the past twenty years. I'm stressed, exhausted and ready to look for another job.
what the hell are you talking about,look for another job?This is america dammit,SUE THE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have already said you are stressed and exhausted.Throw in some mental anguish from having to work with the psycho bitch from hell,and you are golden to the right attorney.Just document EVERYTHING,and give your boss a warning.:thumbsup:
JasmineDreamz
09-01-06, 06:57 PM
If you worked and closed the biggest deal there then your name should be on the papers somewhere, right? Show it to the alpha dog when he gets back and tell him what's going on and he's gotta make a decision between either you or her. You can't continue on this way. If he picks you then all your problems are over, if it's her then you don't want to work there anyway.
what the hell are you talking about,look for another job?This is america dammit,SUE THE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the thought has crossed my mind that this is the psycho's agenda.. get fired or have to quit because of hostile work environment
smutman
09-01-06, 08:09 PM
Ahhhh,so maybe she is creating this so she can get the cash from a nice lawsuit.
Ojive, I'm having trouble with my computer.. post that song for me, please :laugh: and thank you, that was just what I needed :Peck:
STIBROKER
09-26-06, 10:03 PM
Ojive, I'm having trouble with my computer.. post that song for me, please :laugh: and thank you, that was just what I needed :Peck:
here you go kimmy....heres your song........
http://thebandwidth.zefrank.com/ray/whipass.mp3
here you go kimmy....heres your song.....
That's the one! :laugh: Thanks, Sti. I'm gonna be humming all day!
That's the one! :laugh: Thanks, Sti. I'm gonna be humming all day!
Just remember the lyrics. So hum it with feeling:thumbsup:
halfabrotha
09-27-06, 05:18 PM
HEHE great song.
I don't have a song - I have a little prayer that I pray to myself almost every day. it goes something like this:
"Dear God, Please don't let me kill anyone today."
OR
"Dear God, Please don't let me stab [insert name] in the [neck/face/eye]."
So far it has worked but one day.......
Pistol Pete
09-27-06, 08:52 PM
I found out today that our 'head guru' had no idea me and my dad were related, and it was my dad who hired the commie bastard years ago and, I started with the company in 1976. Conversations we've had lead me to believe he knew all along. One of my long time friends, Richard, during a conversation with Guru on Monday, mentioned the name "Bob" (my dad). Guru was totally surprised. Well, that's what can be expected from someone who advocates American jobs leaving to raise the standard of living for wogs and, if we all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya, al-Qaida will love us and everyone will live happily-ever-after. I'm going to post a thread about my dad on this section.
brianw13a
10-02-06, 04:20 PM
Observed a funny at work today. Went something like this:
The weather turned bad and got very windy which knocked out the power to our building. After the usual running around, turning off everything that was on UPS I decided to stop at the secretary's desk and see if I could fix my flashlight.
The lawyer we share our office with instructed the secretary to get on the computer and perform a task. Secretary responded that she didn't know she could use it. I checked and it (desktop) was not on UPS. Lawyer responds with certainty that it should work because hers was still working. She (lawyer) uses a laptop.
:cry:
Observed a funny at work today. Went something like this:
The weather turned bad and got very windy which knocked out the power to our building. After the usual running around, turning off everything that was on UPS I decided to stop at the secretary's desk and see if I could fix my flashlight.
The lawyer we share our office with instructed the secretary to get on the computer and perform a task. Secretary responded that she didn't know she could use it. I checked and it (desktop) was not on UPS. Lawyer responds with certainty that it should work because hers was still working. She (lawyer) uses a laptop.
:cry:
My answer would have been: I'll get right to it...:rolleyes:
Keep your fingers crossed for me.. tomorrow might be the day. We have to wear a company golf shirt on sale days and they're ugly as sin. The psycho came up with the idea to wear one as a dress, with a belt and high heels. She mentioned it to a friend of mine and she encouraged her to go for it. I'm so excited, I won't be able to sleep tonight :laugh:
any way you can get a picture of that tomorrow?
Possibly. I wish I had a camera on my phone. I may get a disposable. She looks really cute from behind. Very tiny, with long blonde hair. It's such a shock when she turns around. She tries to pass herself off as late thirties, but we've figured out that she's somewhere around 50. I thought she was older. I know I was bitching about someone calling me older, but that wasn't because I think I actually look young. I never hide my age.. what's the point? I can say I'm 40 and get away with it.. but I'm still 45. I have certain memories and experiences in common with others my age. Why would I want to trade that, in exchange for people thinking I'm an old looking 40 yr old and have to try and not say anything that will give me true age away? Or I could say I'm 35 and have people not only know I'm a liar, but think I'm stupid, also. Anyway, that's her deal, not mine.. I just need her to go and I'm hoping it's tomorrow. I'm going in early.. I don't want to miss a thing :Popcorn:
smutman
10-07-06, 10:50 AM
So Kimmy,What happened?
So Kimmy,What happened?
Oh, hell.. nothing happened. It was too cold :mad: But, she had on a shirt that isn't standard issue, only a few of the managers have one. Someone asked her where she got it and she said Santa Claus. I know it didn't come from our immediate manager. I think I know, but time will tell. Maybe we'll end up getting two birds with one stone. I hate being patient, though :p
shotglass
10-07-06, 05:17 PM
So, she's doing the Lewinsky at higher levels, eh?
shotglass
10-07-06, 05:17 PM
:bore: Having a bad day with these double posts...
Pistol Pete
10-07-06, 09:21 PM
Speaking of age. Think of this as in the 20th Century:
Back in '97, I remember the great yellow jacket epidemic. They was hog-wild all over the place! We hooked up the 'lectricty to Ma's corsette and fried 'em good when they crossed the front door. Lil' Amos got bit about a hunerd times for he jump inta the pond. Miss Markle, the school marm, had close ta 50 of them bastards in her hair bun! She screamed like Wanda Wilson on frat night at Beaver Creek College. The boys down at the mine cried like little babies in a choir when Miss Markle come a runnin' to thet great big shaft down below. She hopped on and rode thet shaft all the way to glory be! Them boys' wuz happier than two pigs in and oyster parlor.
Ding dong, the bitch is gone! I'll try and make a long story short.. Friday, she got a verbal for wearing short, tight skirts. So, today she wears a short, tight skirt and goes to the general manager to complain about being reprimanded. This really pissed of the HR director and when I got back from lunch, the bitch was in the HR office. She came back to her desk afterwords and clocked out for lunch. She returned on time, grabbed a couple of things from her desk and left. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me.
*plays a very off key "oh happy day" on the slide for Kimmy*
*plays a very off key "oh happy day" on the slide for Kimmy*
Thanks! :Peck: I got so excited when I realized that she was gone that I started breaking out in hives :laugh:
STIBROKER
11-06-06, 06:07 PM
I started breaking out in hives :laugh:
sometimes when I EAT TO MANY CRAWFISH THIS HAPPENS.....
Pistol Pete
11-06-06, 11:51 PM
Speaking of crawfish...Sti, what ever happened to that insurance goober who was stalking you?
Ether_Elemental
11-07-06, 01:43 AM
oh man, i loved hearing about that guy. didn't he end up running a taco stand or soemthing like that?
STIBROKER
11-07-06, 07:47 AM
have not heard from Roger lately ........
smutman
11-07-06, 12:06 PM
Congrats Kimmy! I Have a clown at work who is one of these "Know it all's".He is in a class with me right now for work and it is really getting annoying.He blurts out all the answers to every question,and most of the time he is wrong,but this does not stop or embarass him.During breaks,he walks up and butts in to the middle of conversations and has all the solutions or reasons why to everything.Everyone is catching on to this LOSER and he is getting alienated and he is too stupid to figure it out.It is starting to be great entertainment.Even our instructor is catching on.
Ding dong, the bitch is gone! I'll try and make a long story short.. Friday, she got a verbal for wearing short, tight skirts. So, today she wears a short, tight skirt and goes to the general manager to complain about being reprimanded. This really pissed of the HR director and when I got back from lunch, the bitch was in the HR office. She came back to her desk afterwords and clocked out for lunch. She returned on time, grabbed a couple of things from her desk and left. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me.
can we have "sexytime" at work again?? :Boobies:
can we have "sexytime" at work again?? :Boobies:
damn, I miss my old office:cry:
Barb101
11-07-06, 05:33 PM
damn, I miss my old office:cry:
I miss it too :cry:
STIBROKER
11-07-06, 05:42 PM
yea me to.....we did a lot more talking on da phone.....
yea me to.....we did a lot more talking on da phone.....
that's all I do at the new job, but it's not as much fun.. wonder what they'd do if I hooked up my cam? :laugh:
shotglass
11-07-06, 06:31 PM
Probably not much, until you started showing off. :Boobies:
Ether_Elemental
11-08-06, 02:54 AM
man, i wish i didn't get phone calls. Hi, can i get a wake-up call? Hi, can i get a wake-up call? Hi, can i get a wake-up call? dammit. Corporate accounts, Mina speaking. Just a moment...
They might say something if you came into work wearing those barely cover ya bush mini skirts and fish nets. That would be a motivator:hehe: And it could be as much fun as talking on the phone again.
damn, I miss my old office:cry:
Good times...good times :cry:
Well, now you can go to work and concentrate on work (of all things) without that old beast up your ass all the time.
I agree with Glock's earlier post...managment is so scared of letting people go without 75 written reprimands in their file....
We had a bad apple here...I pushed for 2 years to get his ass outta here, he finally left on his own. The sad thing is he must have smelled it coming becuase they had finally decided to drop the ax on him but they laid back becase they knew he was leaving and I told them they should beat him to the punch and set a tone in the office that you won't put up with bullshit and mind games from employees.
Glad to hear you will have some peace Kimmy, you don't deserve all that crap on a daily basis. :Peck:
They might say something if you came into work wearing those barely cover ya bush mini skirts and fish nets.
that's what they nailed the bitch with.. not fishnets.. she always wore black tights. No matter what kind of dress or skirt she had on, she wore black tights. brown wool jumper and ivory turtle neck/black tights.. red alexis carrington suit/black tights.. pink sundress/black tights. One day, she came in with a short red dress with white polka dots and black tights. She looked just like Minnie Mouse. Ever see Beverly Hillbillys when Granny dresses up like a movie "sireen" and Jethro gets all excited till she turns around and he sees her face? This nutcase is 50, looks 60, tries to pass for 40 and has all her clothes from the 80's and 90's.
I think she hated me even more than I disliked her. I was looking for a marker in one of "her" drawers today and found the eyeglass frames that one of my dealers had given me last Friday. I thought they'd gotten lost in the chaos. How lucky for me that she kept them safe :laugh:
and Dave.. I still have a direct line and a cell phone ;)
Black tights hide those veins don't they? Well how is the office now since all of the drama is gone? Have you pinched yourself yet?
Black tights hide those veins don't they? Well how is the office now since all of the drama is gone? Have you pinched yourself yet?
The mood is so much lighter now. The stench is gone. I don't know how to explain it.. her perfume seemed to suffocate us, almost like something evil. There's another girl in the office that wears a lot more, but the bitch's was different. It hung in the air. I could tell she was in the office before I even got in the door, because I could still smell her outside. We can speak freely again.. I can walk straight through the office, instead of going behind the cubicles. She used to look at me like a hissing cat if I walked behind her. We've had a few people from other departments stop in and offer their own horror stories about her. We spent the day contacting her neglected accounts, so we'll end up making some extra money.. but it's not nearly enough for what we/I have been through.
WARTHOG
12-05-06, 03:07 PM
My office is perfect. It has four wheels. It is dark blue and has a large round red overhead light on it.
I really can't complain about the dress code too much.It is warm especially with my vest on underneath.But I am allowed many accessories that are cool I guess, a 9MM , 2 extra magazines,handcuffs, pepper spray, an ASP and an ink pen.(to name a few)
My co-workers are pretty cool. Some annoy me, some don't. I annoy a few myself.All in all I have a perfect job.:D
9mm? I thought that all the MI departments went to .40 S$W? I also thought that impact weapons were out after the Detroit flashlight beating of Malice Green. Maybe I'm wrong, just asking is all.
Temperance
02-03-07, 05:14 AM
I hate co-workers who have a need to be in my business all the time. For a year I had a guy who was flirting with me at work. Basically, wanting to date me. And certain co-workers got involved with that. Saying, "oh why don't you go out with him", blah, blah, blah. And one of the reasons I didn't want to go out with him was because I didn't want everyone at work knowing my business. Which fast forward a year, I end up going out with him a month ago. And we have seen each other out of work a few times during the past month. And sure enough those same co-workers are into my business. And I don't really think he's helping matters, either. Because, I think he's telling them a little bit about what's going on too. Friday, we kinda got into a spat or disagreement. He ends up whining to those co-workers and those co-workers decided to show their ass. Basically, the moral of the story is to not date co-workers. And I shoud've kept my commandment to not date co-workers. But, I only have myself to blame on that one.:fbomb:
Barb101
02-03-07, 05:34 PM
So happy you could share your personal business with all of the internets. We wait with baited breath to see if you're still a virgin too. Yo, Bodean. I think this one is for you. :Poke: ;)
Always happy to see such wonderful things happen to such wonderful people.....:Poke: :loser:
RicardoHead
02-04-07, 05:21 PM
Temperance, that doesn't sound like an issue with your coworkers, but rather an issue with your BF. The dude apparently doesn't have the maturity to keep his mouth shut.
Pistol Pete
02-04-07, 07:42 PM
I hate co-workers who have a need to be in my business all the time. For a year I had a guy who was flirting with me at work. Basically, wanting to date me.
So, do you go out with anybody, or is this just a ruse to throw off the would-be suitors? Not that I'm interested, but Skippy and his RPG might be. I can feel the love. :Peck:
So, do you go out with anybody, or is this just a ruse to throw off the would-be suitors? Not that I'm interested, but Skippy and his RPG might be. I can feel the love. :Peck:
Skippy might need his RPG to get rid of her. "Go out with" is a very mild way to put it.... annoy, irritate, terrorize or stalk is probably a better way.
I hate co-workers who have a need to be in my business all the time. For a year I had a guy who was flirting with me at work. Basically, wanting to date me. And certain co-workers got involved with that. Saying, "oh why don't you go out with him", blah, blah, blah. And one of the reasons I didn't want to go out with him was because I didn't want everyone at work knowing my business. Which fast forward a year, I end up going out with him a month ago. And we have seen each other out of work a few times during the past month. And sure enough those same co-workers are into my business. And I don't really think he's helping matters, either. Because, I think he's telling them a little bit about what's going on too. Friday, we kinda got into a spat or disagreement. He ends up whining to those co-workers and those co-workers decided to show their ass. Basically, the moral of the story is to not date co-workers. And I shoud've kept my commandment to not date co-workers. But, I only have myself to blame on that one.:fbomb:
He didnt like your hand knitted wicca bag collection?:laugh: :cry:
But, I only have myself to blame on that one.
HMMMM.... Imagine that. Speaks volumes doesn't it? :loser:
RicardoHead
02-15-07, 11:47 AM
There's a dumb fucker here who sits on the shitter and talks on his cellphone. What kind of a sick fuck does that - it's disgusting. I don't recognize the voice, but when I do he'll be spoken to.
maybe he is conducting business on the phone, he is multi tasking
maybe he is conducting business on the phone, he is multi tasking
that is a stinky way to do business....who knew?:laugh:
RicardoHead
02-15-07, 03:35 PM
More fun. Now the fat coworkers are asking for larger cubes because when they hang out together in one of their cube's they claim it is too cramped. No shit.
More fun. Now the fat coworkers are asking for larger cubes because when they hang out together in one of their cube's they claim it is too cramped. No shit.
Call them into your office with a nice big juicy burger and tell them that corporate policy is they have to loose 100 pound or they'll be fired and see how that goes over:laugh:
RicardoHead
02-15-07, 08:10 PM
You think I want them stinkin up my office and warming it with excessive body heat?
Have a scale built into the floor right in front of your desk, the read out could come up on your computer screen.....and if they are over the policy weight then you can hit the switch on the trap door that sends them down a chute to the basement where Richard Simmons is waiting in his fag shorts to put them through a vigorous weight loss program.
RicardoHead
02-19-07, 08:13 AM
Anybody else have people in the office who walk around farting in the halls ... their fat asses chirping like a horny springtime sparrow? People are fucked up, man.
I have a few here...usually silent as they sprint towards the bathroom.....smell usually hits ya about 4.7 seconds after they have walked by......we call those "drive bys"
Anybody else have people in the office who walk around farting in the halls ... their fat asses chirping like a horny springtime sparrow? People are fucked up, man.
No hallway farters, but we have an afternoon pooper.
JasmineDreamz
02-22-07, 10:37 AM
Lazy cow that I work with was going to the doctor on Feb 1. She fell in the dr's parking lot on the way up to his office, dislocated and broke her wrist. The doctor relocated it, then casted the broken part. She has been off work since that day and we don't know if or when she's coming back. So far it's been really nice with her gone because now I can get all my own work done since she's not having me hand her the phone, dial the phone for her, get her a drink, throw her trash away, etc. I swear to God if she comes back I'm not wiping her ass for her when she goes to the bathroom. With a little luck, she may take retirement and not come back. Here's hoping.
Temperance
05-23-07, 09:05 PM
Fuck the busybodies at work. They are more concerned on whether or not me and my boyfriend are going to get married than I am. That is literally the only time I hear the M work is from their mouths! One co-worker told me tonight that he was never going to marry me. Why is it any of her business if I marry him or not marry him? It's like the people at work don't have anything else better to do than to worry about if I'm pregnant or if whether or not we're going to get married!:fbomb:
JasmineDreamz
05-24-07, 05:08 AM
I hope to God that my co-worker (who has the actual title of Director) takes her workman's comp settlement and doesn't come back. She's had so many "accidents" such as tripping and falling down over air that she's put us at the top of OSHA's list. Funny though, nobody else seems to have the problems that she does. I've done her work for her and mine since I started working here about 13 years ago and it's gotten old. (There's only 3 of us in our department at the school). I even have all her shit packed up for her and that only took about a week to do.
SactoEric
05-25-07, 08:49 AM
Anybody else have people in the office who walk around farting in the halls ... their fat asses chirping like a horny springtime sparrow? People are fucked up, man.
I used to work w/ a large woman who would do a walk-by farting next to the desks/cubes of people she didn't like. I didn't believe the coworker who told me about it until I saw/heard/smelled it first hand :nuts:
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