One time... when I was on watch...

[Eagle3]

OK, no shit. I'm standing a liberty boat watch one morning in port at Pattaya Beach, Thailand. For those unfamilar with the port, there is no pier for any of the ships to pull into. We would anchor off shore about a mile. Then you have to pull a MacArthur to get ashore. A small liberty boat comes out to the ship and pulls up to a floating platform nicknamed the camel. The camel is attached to the hanger deck by a long ladder (stairs for you land types). You get to try and match the bobbing of the camel with the liberty boat and jump over. Then you ride this over crowded dingy to shore where it runs up the beach as far as it can. Then you hop over the rail and wade in the remaining 50 yards MacArthur style. ;)

Well, I'm standing this watch with an Ensign around 0600 to 1000 making sure drunks coming back don't fall in and drown. We just pulled up to the camel around 0730 when someone notices a swimmer heading for the ship. He's about 100 yards out and struggling. Eventually he makes it to the camel and get's fished out when we get to hear his story. He's on the beach needing to get back in time for muster at 0700 for duty. He got on what he thought was a liberty boat heading back to the Midway but in fact was actually heading towards the USS Kirk about a mile away. When he figures out his screwup (The Kirk looks a lot bigger than the Midway) he ties his shoes together, puts them around his neck, jumps over the side while this boat is still chugging towards the Kirk, and swims the mile or so distance to the Midway. Hey, I thought the guy deserved a medal for perseverance, but I think they still wrote him up for being late. BTW - that watch had some other interesting things happen I'll talk about later. ;)

[tulu Al]

I remember that day. I was in the MAA shack trying to get my ID back and this guy comes down the passage soaking wet and an MAA on each arm. Dont know if he got written up but I heard one MAA say " Damn, I hope this poor ass wipe dont get in too much trouble"

[Eagle3]

It was pretty damn funny watching this guy dog paddle up to the ship. Today he probably would have ate a bunch of .50 cal rounds. :what:

That liberty boat watch was memorable for one other event that occured. One I wouldn't mind forgetting. We were on our way back for the last time before being relieved. Me and the Ensign are parked on the fantail of the liberty boat on the port side. A few feet in front of us was a bench againt the back of the wheelhouse covered with drunks. On top of the wheelhouse was a deck full of benches and more drunks. We're more than halfway back when we hear this splattering noise. Light at first and then a torential downpour. We look over to the starboard side and this guy is getting drowned in vomit from an assbag leaning over the rail on the wheelhouse. They guy getting barfed on doesn't even flinch. Like I said, thankfully it was our last trip and I couldn't wait to get changed so I could go out and get my drinking hat on! :D

[joeseamonkey]

K...One good barf storie deserves another...
Upon Graduating bootcamp (Orlando) me and a bunch of friends party it up...this was the night I learned you don't mix vodka,whisky,wine,beer and something that tasted like md 20-20 together...anyway the suns coming up and me and a friend call a cab to take us back to base....when the cab arrives some guy in his dress whites runs up and asks if he can hitch a ride with us....sure why not...so me and my freind are in the back of the cab...I'm on passenger side...and the guy hitching a ride rode up front...On the way back to base I become aware that I am going to Barf...knowing this I reach over to roll the window down and find the handle is missing...I hear that some cabbies remove the handle to reduce drag and save fuel...who knows...anyway I knew that if I opened the door to barf I would fall out cause I was so wasted...So I try to get control of it...mentally forcing my body not to puke...and I was doing really good until the cab hit a pothole...when it did this brownish liquid shot out of me like something in the exorcist...It hit the guy in dress whites in the back of the head and parted...like the red sea...around his head and continued on....I look over and my friend and the cab driver are both leaning out the driver side window...apperantly his window didn't work either...and the guy i just drenched in barf was leaning out the passenger side window...explaining what he was going to do to me when the cab stopped...Now....My friend...still leaning up by the cab driver...concerned about my well being...looks in to ask if I'm ok...gets a whiff of the barf...and pukes all over the cab driver....The guy in dress whites looks in...he's still bitching "you light weight s.o.b's" "I'm going to kick your m..fing asses" etc etc....he gets a whiff of the barf and looses his lunch (Or dinner) on the dash board and then the rest out the window....Cab Driver LOCKS the breaks up....kicks all our butts out of the cab...demands money from all of us ( to clean the cab)...we gave him like $100 or so between us...off he went and the three of us sat there in the street laughing our ass off.

[Eagle3]

Alright... might as well make this a hat trick.... I came back to the ship after drinking waaaaaaaay to much Oscar while in Pusan. I drag my sorry ass into my rack (I had a middle one) and hang one arm and leg over the side hoping to stop the ship from spinning. It didn't work and soon it was time to jettison the load. Except, my legs refused to answer any call from the helm. All I could manage has to lean my head over the side of my rack. There staring at me was the guy from the bottom rack. No doubt concerned about my health and well being. I never saw a head disappear so fast as when he saw what was coming. Too bad he wasn't fast enough to move his flight deck boots which I filled to the top with slightly used Oscar and a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich. Man, I hated giving up that sandwich. :(

[foehammer03]

We pulled into Subic and did two days of eyeball liberty. Two guys lost their cool and jumped overboard trying to swim to shore, they got picked up, brought back and jumped overboard again.

Talk about despiration for getting laid.