Everyday phrases that sound dirty but aren't...

[cuda]

Name a situation then follow up with a phrase. Maybe we should keep it to one phrase a thread, no copy/pasting a 30 line list.

Like so:

Golf - Nice stroke!

[cuda]

In law - Think you could get me off?

[cuda]

Bar- How about a nice stiff one?

[Dave]

Dentist - Open Wide

[Dave]

Astronomy - Look how big your Uranus is !

[Laurie]

Nurses- Would you like that in da butt?

[cuda]

Lawyer - Did you go through her briefs?

[cuda]

Politician - I don't wanna have to pull out.

[gopsdragon]

Discussion with my waitress- Now let's get something straight between you and me.

[Freak]

Teletubbies (I have kids, lol)-Narrator says "Dipsy played with Tinkiewinky's bag"

[shotglass]

Fast food - Jack in the Box.

[Freak]

hockey announcer- "The goalie is pounding his wood on the ice because he missed that save"
:nuts:

[Nomad]

Carpenter- "You want me to screw it or just nail it?

[Kimmy]

I catch myself saying this at work about once a week, when I need to connect 2 guys on the road by phone:

Wanna do a 3 way?

[Laurie]

Office- Just stick it in my box.

[cuda]

office - Mind if I use you laptop?

[Wham Valdez]

NASA controller - Just ease it into the docking port.

I was going to submit "houston, we have a problem" but premature ejaculation has never been a difficulty of mine.

[Freak]

Various- Insert Tab "A" into slot "B"

[cuda]

FedEx - Mind if I put my package on your desk?

[gopsdragon]

Accusation often heard in the Capitol dome - It's believed those two members were log rolling.

[cuda]

FedEx - Could you deliver your package in the back.

[Barb101]

Computer Geek-- How big is your hard drive?

[Freak]

On the Delta Airlines air safety video they show preflight, regarding life preservers:

"You may also inflate by putting the tube in your mouth and blowing."

[DMS]

Carpenter #1: I got 11 inches here
Carpenter #2: Oh my God, It will never fit!

[DMS]

White House:

We are not sure if Saddam had any WMD.

[DMS]

MSN messenger: Click below to sign in.

[DMS]

Pep Boys: Your Muffler is dripping

[Freak]

Person in front seat of car: Have you got enough room?

Person in back seat of car: Yeah, I have about 8 inches in front of me.

[shotglass]

Laurie at dentist office - Leave my mouth alone!

[DMS]

Laurie's Dentist - This might hurt a bit

[Freak]

From this thread: http://bushwhacked.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5323

Originally posted by robb
I have a Burning (Hot 2) Long Sword and Short Sword. I have a Hot Short Sword that I no longer need. You can have either one.

:hehe:

[micron]

Micron at work,"This won't hurt its only a little prick"

[Laurie]

Originally posted by micron
Micron at work,"This won't hurt its only a little prick"


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ;)

[bearfoot]

2 guys getting seated at a gay bar: "can I push your stool in"?

[gopsdragon]

Sept. 11, 2003 San Jose Mercury News headline-
"State agencies must find trims"

A story about a new directive for state cutbacks.

[cuda]

Kimmy:

"Nothing would keep me off my back..."
"...so I tried larger and larger balls."

[Kimmy]

*searches for a crumpled scrap of paper and scribbles with a purple crayon.. C U D A..... * ;)

[micron]

Three nuns on a train station are confronted by a naked man.Two fainted and one had a stroke.:confused:

[Texan]

Me lying on the massage therapy table,
"I like it deep and hard. I want to know you've been there."


True story. That came out of my mouth and I shocked myself....
I was so embarrassed! In case you are wondering....it was a male massage therapist. He honored my wishes and I got an awesome massage! :)

[gopsdragon]

Originally posted by Texan
Me lying on the massage therapy table,
"I like it deep and hard. I want to know you've been there."


*faints*

[gopsdragon]

I took one bite and the rest went in the trash. I guess it was a kid thing. I never braved the Ding Dongs.

Texan http://bushwhacked.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5319&perpage=15&pagenumber=3

[cuda]

When do you think you'll be getting off today? :rolleyes:

[Kimmy]

Cuda: Jesus is coming :scary:

[gopsdragon]

I found it on the internet.

"(whoosh) Um, Kimmy, I enjoy sucking and blowing as much as the next guy, but wouldn't this be easier with a pump?" – from "Undergrads."

[JasmineDreamz]

"You boys get your balls back over here on this side."
I've said that to the kids playing basketball (with 3 basketballs going at once) who end up on the wrong side of the room.