A chick actually proposed to me today

[RicardoHead]

No shit. She asked for my hand in marriage.

And not because of love, either. She wants to pay me to marry her. She's a Canadian chick who is going to get deported and wants to stay here, but can't find a dude, so she offered me $20k for my hand in wedlock. I told her I needed $500k plus all the nookie I could handle, and I wanted a down payment on the nookie starting tonite. If she had the $500k handy I may have had a deal, because she probably has the nookie in her back pocket.

So, anyone out there want a quick $20k? My brokers fee is a mere 10%.

[shotglass]

Is she Asian? WepsAdmin might be ready for some of that. :D

[Freak]

So is she hot? We need pics!

[RicardoHead]

Sorry gents, I got no pics. She's ethnically a Russian-Jew, born Canadian, late 30s, she's got an okay bod (I'd put her at 3 beers max, downed fast), you wouldn't run from her face but you wouldn't run to it either, but she has a uhhhhhhhhhh good personality.

I actually think her problem in the marriage dept is that she's trying too hard. I figure for 500k I could try hard too, but you guys are welcome to underbid me.

Other thing we could do is all pitch in and buy her as an common asset, as long as the nookie is part of the deal. One of us would have to marry her, but we could then split the nookie as need be and earn interest on her cash.

Whacha think?

[JDub]

Once she finds out how "happy go lucky" you are, she'll run back to Canada. :laugh:

[RicardoHead]

That's okay Jdub. Just one less of them canucks runnin' around here. Besides, who'd really wanna be here when Canada's got such a great social health care system?

[Ojive]

So RH, besides the lack of bread for the deal are you saying they could look like this? I mean after a lot of beer I guess this could start looking exceptable :shrug: I've been out of the drinking game a long time.

[JBMoney]

I'll talk to Buffy. Maybe we can work something out.

[Bucko]

[QUOTE=RicardoHead
Other thing we could do is all pitch in and buy her as an common asset, as long as the nookie is part of the deal. One of us would have to marry her, but we could then split the nookie as need be and earn interest on her cash.

Whacha think?[/QUOTE]

Ewwwwww...sloppy seconds? No way. :laugh:

[RicardoHead]

Ewwwwww...sloppy seconds? No way. :laugh:
You know ..... I could really run with this comment ..... but I don't wanna get kicked off the board.

[STIBROKER]

I'll talk to Buffy. Maybe we can work something out.

if you talk her into it let me know how ya did it and I will try it on mine.....

[Ether_Elemental]

when's she due to be deported?

[RicardoHead]

I'll ask when she's due, Ether. It might help in my negotiations.

I got her bid up to 25k but I'm still holding out for the half mil. Still no give on the nookie, but I'll let you all know.

[RicardoHead]

Okay, the deport date is mid March, so now I have a timeline. This is good info because there is at least a 2 month lead time for a Ferrari, so I'll have to get that ordered by the end of Jan unless some bastard underbids me.

[Ether_Elemental]

Even for 500k I still wouldn't. Why doesn't she just become a citizen or whatever? Why's she being deported? WHY MAN, WHY?!?!?

[shotglass]

It takes years for the paperwork to go through, EE, and that's on the good side. Billions of miles of other assorted red tape await you.

I had a bud in the Corps marry a Filipina for the same reason, she was a nursing student and wanted to stay here. We messed with him until we saw her. Very beautiful girl, and she liked Robbie quite a bit. Last I heard, they were doing quite well together. :thumbsup:

[RicardoHead]

How much dinero did he score off her upfront, Shotty? Please tell me it was at least an S-class.


Ether, my understanding is she is here on a work visa and that due to some financial shenanigans by the higher ups the place is being shut down. She got the axe about a week ago, so going by the deport date I take it she has 4 months to find either a job or a hubbie. From what I know about being a foreigner looking for work on a work visa, it's a bitch finding an employer who is willing to support you thru the visa-approval process unless they are transferring you from a foreign division, so few companies want to do it for some new hire, but if she finds a hubbie things get easier.

[shotglass]

How much dinero did he score off her upfront, Shotty? Please tell me it was at least an S-class.


I don't recall there being any money involved. The number 5000 keeps popping into my head, though.

[smutman]

Hey Ricardohead,Tell that chick I`ll do it for thirty grand and I will give you ten percent.I dont give a fuck who she is or what she looks like.Email me if you are serious.I am!!!!!Money talks and bullshit walks!!!

[RicardoHead]

Smutman, I'll run the 30k deal by her, man. She might go for it - if so I'll let you know.

Personally I like Weps idea.

[smutman]

Any word from my girl yet?

[RicardoHead]

Smut, I ran it by the chick who introduced us a little while back. Apparently they're having trouble taking me serious with the half-mill offer and all.

Still, I asked her to run it by the deportee at 30k. I'll reiterate it before I go home tonite so it'll hopefully be on her mind when she goes home. If she's not picky, then maybe you got a chance at a wifey! :Poke:

If I were her I'd line up someone like you as a last resort if she doesn't get a job, but hey, I want my 3k so I'll be pushin' and will let you know.

[smutman]

Good deal!As long as she knows I am serious about the project.I will be standing by awaiting your reply :smokin:

[Texan]

Is this legal? :shrug:

[smutman]

Probably not but who gives a fuck! :thumbs: I am all for helping someone out!!

[Texan]

Probably not but who gives a fuck! :thumbs: I am all for helping someone out!!
Yeah, me too. I wonder if she is open to marrying a female.

[smutman]

Now that is an idea.Could I marry both of you?It would be fun!!!! :D

[Spotter]

Now that is an idea.Could I marry both of you?It would be fun!!!! :D
You want to marry the hoser and RichardoHead?

[RicardoHead]

You want to marry the hoser and RichardoHead?
If I could pull a $half mill from each I'm game.

[Texan]

I think I'm having another blonde moment. :p

[smutman]

You want to marry the hoser and RichardoHead?
No,I want to marry 2 CHICKS!!!!!!!!!! :Boobies:

[RicardoHead]

Do drag queens count? For half a mill I'll dress up as your femdom.

[smutman]

Only if you promise to wear a goalie mask.

[smutman]

What`s the word from our girl on this,Ricardo?My wallet is getting thin!!

[Kimmy]

I have some guy wanting to marry me, but he only offered $2000 and half my rent paid for 6 months. I feel so insulted, next to Ricardheads offer. Of course, my offer wasn't from an alien wanting citizenship.. just a run of the mill American felon on parole that wants to leave his home state.

[RicardoHead]

I know a guy who might be interested, Kimmy.

[Kimmy]

I know a guy who might be interested, Kimmy.
oh? what's his story?

[Spotter]

I am so hurt. I would have given you all that plus a 1/2 a season ticket package to the local minor league team of your choice. And I'd even throw in an all you can eat buffet once a month or so, if that is what it would take to get you over the fence.

[Kimmy]

I am so hurt. I would have given you all that plus
no reason to be hurt, Spotter.. I didn't accept. I'll understand of you wanna reconsider that offer. Those buffets could really add up.

[RicardoHead]

oh? what's his story?
He'll marry for money. Just like most chicks. :p

[Kimmy]

There's no money here..think he'd be better off with your Canadian chick?

[RicardoHead]

By the way to everyone ... update on the Canadian chick. She was a Canadian Jew so because she had to leave she went to live in Israel a few months back! Smart move!!! :laugh: :laugh:

[Pistol Pete]

I'll bet she's in a red bustier holding an M-16. :cool:

[Ether_Elemental]

I'll bet she's in a red bustier holding an M-16. :cool:

:jackoff:

[smutman]

By the way to everyone ... update on the Canadian chick. She was a Canadian Jew so because she had to leave she went to live in Israel a few months back! Smart move!!! :laugh: :laugh:
I forgot all about that!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: