princess b
12-10-05, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by Princess B on 10.18.1999 (or something like that)
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I'm going to make some more enemies with this one!
I think weddings originally served a much different purpose, as did marriages in a lot of cases. Marriage was contract for the purposes of property and heirs and uniting families and solving dynastic rivalries and all other sort of archaic purposes. All of these reasons required a great show to be put on in order to prove the accomplishment of such goals.
It seems like today, however, weddings have an entirely different purpose. I'm not sure what it is, but I have been to a rare few weddings that actually had a focus on marriage.
I get so tired of listening to people talk about their invites and their dresses and what color their table clothes are going to be and how this relative refuses to pay for this and that relative refuses to wear this color and the hall was booked. People put their friends and family through financial and emotional torture for a stupid party! Parties are supposed to be about having fun and weddings are supposed to be about a marriage. Somehow these two have collided and created something entirely different.
Not that I'm innocent of all of this! I had a ridiculously huge bonanza princess spectacle wedding and I have not finished apologizing to all those involved! Half way through the reception I realized that I didn't know half the people there. While I was at the strawberry festival buffet having my chocolate dipped strawberry injected with Grand Marnier, I realized that not only was I suddenly married, but that it really was a ridiculous length to go to just to have a cool party. If I had it to do over again, I would have eloped, or had something small with only my family. To me, that is so much more romantic and respectful and truly holds to the true idea of marriage.
The ones I feel sorriest for are the best man and maid of honor. They fork out a huge amount of money for the "honor" of wearing a ridiculous dress in front of tons of people and being photographed countless times. They have to pay for the showers, bachlor(ette) party, dress/tux, in a lot of cases air fare and hotel room, makeup, hair, and then they are expected to buy a wedding gift. On top of that, they have to deal with the emotional wreck that the bride and groom become when the cocktail napkins don't turn out just so.
I find it all slightly disrespectful to the whole idea of family and marriage. I know I am being harsh, and I will probably take a lot of abuse for these opinions, but they are after all, my opinions.
My life has been much easier since I instituted for myself a no wedding policy. I haven't been to a wedding in over three years and I would have to think pretty hard about the last bridal shower I attended. You would be surprised at the small number of brides/grooms that have commented to me about this. The truth is, when people are planning their weddings, it's all about numbers. You invite a certain number of people and 20% don't go. When you rsvp no, you don't have to give an excuse, you just go in that 20% pile.
Isn't that warm and intimate - isn't that what weddings should be?
Tell your friends to relax and start thinking about the day after the wedding. That's what the focus should be - the marriage.
One more thing then I'm done. The strawberries were great and if you have to do the whole spectacle thing - the Turnip Rose does a great job!
===============================================
I'm going to make some more enemies with this one!
I think weddings originally served a much different purpose, as did marriages in a lot of cases. Marriage was contract for the purposes of property and heirs and uniting families and solving dynastic rivalries and all other sort of archaic purposes. All of these reasons required a great show to be put on in order to prove the accomplishment of such goals.
It seems like today, however, weddings have an entirely different purpose. I'm not sure what it is, but I have been to a rare few weddings that actually had a focus on marriage.
I get so tired of listening to people talk about their invites and their dresses and what color their table clothes are going to be and how this relative refuses to pay for this and that relative refuses to wear this color and the hall was booked. People put their friends and family through financial and emotional torture for a stupid party! Parties are supposed to be about having fun and weddings are supposed to be about a marriage. Somehow these two have collided and created something entirely different.
Not that I'm innocent of all of this! I had a ridiculously huge bonanza princess spectacle wedding and I have not finished apologizing to all those involved! Half way through the reception I realized that I didn't know half the people there. While I was at the strawberry festival buffet having my chocolate dipped strawberry injected with Grand Marnier, I realized that not only was I suddenly married, but that it really was a ridiculous length to go to just to have a cool party. If I had it to do over again, I would have eloped, or had something small with only my family. To me, that is so much more romantic and respectful and truly holds to the true idea of marriage.
The ones I feel sorriest for are the best man and maid of honor. They fork out a huge amount of money for the "honor" of wearing a ridiculous dress in front of tons of people and being photographed countless times. They have to pay for the showers, bachlor(ette) party, dress/tux, in a lot of cases air fare and hotel room, makeup, hair, and then they are expected to buy a wedding gift. On top of that, they have to deal with the emotional wreck that the bride and groom become when the cocktail napkins don't turn out just so.
I find it all slightly disrespectful to the whole idea of family and marriage. I know I am being harsh, and I will probably take a lot of abuse for these opinions, but they are after all, my opinions.
My life has been much easier since I instituted for myself a no wedding policy. I haven't been to a wedding in over three years and I would have to think pretty hard about the last bridal shower I attended. You would be surprised at the small number of brides/grooms that have commented to me about this. The truth is, when people are planning their weddings, it's all about numbers. You invite a certain number of people and 20% don't go. When you rsvp no, you don't have to give an excuse, you just go in that 20% pile.
Isn't that warm and intimate - isn't that what weddings should be?
Tell your friends to relax and start thinking about the day after the wedding. That's what the focus should be - the marriage.
One more thing then I'm done. The strawberries were great and if you have to do the whole spectacle thing - the Turnip Rose does a great job!