"Auditors of the Empire" discussion

[lucie]

Looks like we are off to a solid start.

So far, we seem to have a sort a prelude action sequence to introduce our characters.

The Protaganists:
Blix Ansata - Imperial Auditor (human)
Tora Correos - Imperial Underpilot (Dug)
O - Engineer Third class (a sort of 40-kilo amoeba)

The Villains:
Arana Paelid - unknown. Probably part of some larger organization, possibly oragnized crime (Noxan)

Mohrduk - unknown. Some connection to the Emperor, probable ties to organized crime, most likely a free agent. A watcher of some sort. (race unknown)

Naero Corprus - a minor villain, venal and corrupt Administrator of a semi-independant minig colony. Obviously he has bitten off more than he can chew, and will probably have the life-span of Domino's pizza on Jabba the Hutt's TV tray.

Eddioboy and C3POlaf- please correct any wrong assumptions I have made.

I will hold off on my next story post until Monday. Remember - this isn't a rpg - you can play a character someone else created!

[Eddioboy]

The beginning looks good. I like the idea and the protagonists are great.

You described the characters I introduced well. I wrote the Naero Corprus character with the idea that since he had no fight left in him, he was pretty much out of the game and without a future in the story (but, with multiple authors, you never can tell for sure)!

He was intended as a colorful frame for Arana Paelid, who seems a bit more intriguing.

[lucie]

Very intriguing indeed. The elusive, powerful, mysterious villain - who is she? Who does she work for, if anyone. Is she part a a bigger conspiracy? Is she a she? Stuff to reveal bit by bit in future chapters.

Characters like that make the whole thing lots of fun. Protaganists have to be pretty straight forward (although some people might be bothered by the fact that they work for the Empire), but villains can have all sorts of hidden agendas.

Obviously, Tora is our anti-hero. Hopefully, he will be some fun to work with.

[Jimness]

Lucie, et al.

I like the set up so far. One question I have is what these people look like. Eddioboy described Arana Paelid as having space black hair. What do Blix Ansata and Tora Correos look like? I'd like to add a post to this, but I don't want to make a person brown haired/brown eyed if you envisioned her with a lime green mohawk & red contacts. Any information would be helpful. Thanks.

P.S. I think Mohrduk should remain somewhat obscure right now--in the shadows as it were.

[This message has been edited by Jimness (edited 09-01-1999).]

[C3POLaf]

Mohrduk knows.... For now, he just unwittingly complicates matters for the others, which is as current his envisioned purpose. I'm not sure what drives this cliche: did the Big P save his life, or hold control over that of his loved one? What has Paelid done to him on previous occasions? Is Paelid, in her/his/its wish to conspire with fraudulent tax evaders the spark to the fuel of the Rebellion? Is the Rebel Alliance then nothing more than a quest for a SW equivalent to Andorra/Liechtenstein/Monaco? I guess we'll find out as we go along.


[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-02-1999).]

[lucie]

Jimness & everyone:
If they have not been described, jump in with your own. So far, I have described Blix as a human female, so the rest is up to you. Tora is a Dug (think Sebulba from TPM), and O is a large mass of goo.

Don't think of this as a role-playing game with certain characters belonging to and only being run by one person. Anything you put out there is subject to change within certain guidelines. Once something is firmly established, it should not be changed (Tora will not suddenly become human, or Blix become male), but anything not already established can be determined by any writer.

So if you envision Blix as a red-hot 23-year-old babe with flaming red hair and a supermodel pout, and she has not been established as a pudgy 45-year-old with lank brown hair and bad teeth, you can jump in and establish that. Anyone writing a sequence with that character in the future will have to use what you established.

To clarify one other matter - when I said no using established characters, I meant characters established elsewhere; in the movies or the writings of lesser mortals than ourselves. So if you want to run into Han Solo and have a brief chat with him in a bar, that's fine, but he can't join the main action.

[JBMoney]

Did someboday say "red-hot 23-year-old babe with flaming red hair and a supermodel pout"?

Don't let me down JimNess. Give her a brogue, too. Ha Ha.

[lucie]

Too late with the brogue, ha ha. And I just took away the "skin like cream" option! It's still not too late to make a her sloe-eyed dusky nymph, or an Iman look-alike, if that's how your tastes run. But hurry - next post might give her poor posture and a crop of hair-sprouting wart on hands....

[C3POLaf]

This is turning into a fun experience. I quite enjoyed the "blaster" episode (it got both my secretaries wondering what could be SO funny on my computer). It's really strange how the characters are already dear to me. I'm a bit torn between "O gotta Go" and "What a facinating addition to the crew this non-humanoid is", I guess The Blob could provide some comic relief at times.

After some initial hesitation I'm sort of convinced Paelid should remain as it/she is right now. SF is mostly read by zitty male adolescents that desperately require some more "stimulating" sensoral input, every now and again. I guess this will keep them on the edge of their seats for a while.

PS: I'm off to Madrid for a few days, returning Thursday 9th. I'm quite curious to learn where our friends will be then. I must also take this opportunity to compliment Lucie on sensing a plot.


[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-03-1999).]

[Eddioboy]

I am wondering if Tora pondering the possibility of selling the T2 droid on one black market or another is too cold and distasteful for the character (see my latest entry).

I thought it would be okay, since droids are often SO disrespected in the Star Wars movies, especially by anti-heroes when talking to T2 droids. (I'm picturing the C-3PO model of droid. Is this right?)

Then I began to wonder if I have unwittingly put Tora into a villainous class of character. Whaddaya think?

[Jimness]

Hey guys,

I added a second posting this weekend since I find it difficult to find time to write during the work-week. In any event, I've added a subplot here I think might be fun to explore. I've got some ideas of where I think this should go, but I look forward to any twists you all add in between.

Since these last two were kind of long (I needed to establish the characters and situation), I'll try to reduce the length of the next ones.

Also, in turn SW pulp style, I think we should just write our scenes with a little description in front. There's no need for "elsewhere in the galaxy," etc. We've become familiar with the basic characters, already. Maybe save the "elsewhere" stuff for adding new characters, major or minor.

[C3POLaf]

Lucie, please, a wookie?! That's beyond sick.....yet very funny. I don't want to milk the by now overtly obvious tongue in cheek with regards to Han's cameo performance. Eddioboy, let the droid be sold, he's annoying enough as it is. But we need droids, definitely, no SF novel is complete without them. Could we however invent a true cyborg, in good old "do androids dream of electric sheep" style? In the SW universe, these seem not to exist, so maybe it's not such a good idea.

In general, let's not get carried away by inventing too many characters.

[lucie]

Agreed. I think we have all the major characters we need now, as well as the beginning of a plot. (The short Arana sequence was for the guys who got off on the red-headed supermodel thing I tossed out a few posts up - an inside joke really). I expect we've come to the end of the Han Solo sequence - now back to our regularly scheduled story...

As it looks as though the main action is going to be happening on Bandokar, we should give some thought to the socio-political structure of this world. So far, we know it is an as-yet non-Imperial system, but clearly possessing some degree of technology. Having Blix study up on it before leaving Central gives us the opportunity for a little exposition.

And why not keep the droid? He came with the ship, after all, and since he is CIA property, Tora can't just sell him. In fact, Blix has a responsibility to keep him in good condition, which could be a point of conflict later on. We should give him some sort of nick-name.

[Eddioboy]

I didn't think that actually selling the droid would be a good idea to include, I was just wondering if the fact that Tora was THINKING about it made him too villainous (which I really don't think it does).

This was written in keeping with Tora's occasional tendency to want to appropriate things for himself (like the ship), and to enrich himself. The story is looking great so far, and it's fun to add to. Keep 'em coming!

[lucie]

I kind of see Tora as our anti-hero. Technically, he's a good guy, but he's also a greedy, foul-mouthed pain in the butt. I envision him going head-to-head with Blix on numerous occasions, but will still be on our side, whatever our side ends up doing. (perhaps financing their own little rebellion. it's a big enough galaxy to have more than one.)

Actually, he's my favorite character so far, and it is with difficulty that I stop myself writing about him exclusively.

[C3POLaf]

About the droid: R2D2 is usually referred to as "that R2 unit" or simply "R2". C3P0 is known to us as "3P0". There is little logic in that. Let's say our protocol droid friend is T2P2, "2P2" wouldn't really do it for me, so a nice nickname like "pil'o'junk" or "scrapmetal" would most probably have to be invented. These two are too long and complicated, let me suggest "Tee", therefore. I'm still not completely at ease with that one either, choices, choices, choices (sigh)...


[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-14-1999).]

[lucie]

I suppose it would be too precious to call him "Oscar", however we justified it in the story.

It may not end up being a problem at all if someone doesn't reintroduce him soon. We have no verification that he is even along on this trip, or do I need to go back & re-read?

[C3POLaf]

I guess Oscar will do fine, although I'm lost at aforementioned justification?!

Could it be so that the stern gentleman, apparently interested in procuring Arana's doubtful services is none other than good old Mohrduk, or should he still remain lurking? Could this be the overture to his elaborate scheme to lure Arana to the very planet where she stashed her own little embezzled fortune (provided I read the plot developments correctly), only to close the trap and repay whichever (tax) debt he has with mister P?

Is this too easy? I'll postpone my next post until we've established some of these basic facts as I don't want to ruin the fun by supplying ready-made storylines: they're merely up for discussion.

It's probably best if we try to keep any suggestions as far from definitively pointing in a certain well defined direction as possible. Otherwise we'd get melrose/peyton place in space, right?

[Eddioboy]

I have a quick question: Who is Arana referring to when she thinks, "Sarak did a good job." I interpreted that to mean the employer she was meeting with, as though he were a Noxan that did a good job of pulling off that old-man appearance.

[This message has been edited by Eddioboy (edited 09-14-1999).]

[Eddioboy]

I for one wouldn't mind a bit if we began to drag some of the story's shadier characters into the light of explicit narrative. This is partly because the subtlety of the descriptions in some chapters leaves me unsure of where the other authors are intending to go.

That's one reason I am a bit wary of taking up some plot lines myself; because I get the sense that these ideas were introduced with a direction in mind that I'm not able to pick up on.

I suppose it could go anywhere the next writer wants it to, as long as we agree that nobody gets miffed if they see the story taken in a totally different direction than they thought for sure everybody would pick up on.

[lucie]

My original idea with this was to provoke that very thing - rather than second-guessing where another writer intended to take something, you should grab and run, even if it is in a radically different direction. It's less a co-authoring than an improv exercise.

The main reason I wanted to limit the length of any given post was to try and get seveal postings on any particular scene. We could get some interesting twists if we cut off and picked up in the middle of each other's scenes, changing relationships and loyalties, springing surprises on each other.

I think we are all trying to be too polite, or to treat our characters like RPG characters we are running. Do we want to revise some of the rules, or try something entirely different?

Just a note - it's interesting to see the different styles everyone writes in. Some write like a novel - lots of internal dialogue, not much outward action. others write like a movie script - some dialogue, lots of external action. Still others (like myself) write like a play - mostly dialogue, a little action, almost nothing internalized.

[Eddioboy]

That clears things up for me. Sounds good, let's jump in and write away!

[Jimness]

I agree, don't worry about changing people's original notions of their characters. Mix it up a little, it'll be fun. I think it'll be a challenge to write our way out of multiple interpretations of characters. The reason I haven't been writing about the other characters is that I haven't had much of a chance to think about what I want them to do. I think once the action starts on Bandokar, this will change.

Also, one of my interests was in exploring the psychological effects the Empire had on its people (hence, my last post). This isn't dealt with in the SW movies, where everything is good vs. evil, but I think it's an interesting topic. After all, this is a story about working people in the Empire.

I like to write in complete scenes (which tend to make mine a little longer than most), so I find the 2-6 paragraph rule a little constricting, but I'm doing my best to be concise. Maybe we could have a rule of anywhere from 2 to 10 paragraphs, but limited to no more than 3 posts a week--I've noticed most people don't post more than twice a week anyway.

Finally, I think Oscar is a good name (it'll be a nice in-joke). But shouldn't we take a poll? After all, this is bressler.org. In all seriousness, I would like to request that the droid not be annoyingly prissy like C3P0--I mean, can't droids in this universe have some, umm, gonads?

Keep up the good work everyone, this is a lot of fun.

[This message has been edited by Jimness (edited 09-14-1999).]

[lucie]

Naw, forget the poll. Whoever gets in and names the 'droid first wins.

Sure, longer is fine. I just wanted to set a few flexible rules to avoid complete anarchy. Some anarchy is a good idea, however.

Social issues are an aspect I have been interested in; the parts you never see in the movies like religion, education, vocational training, the justice system, different forms of family/marriage, etc.

Perhaps the next topic in the creative writing should have to do with designing some of the neglected bits. I would like to see some serious essays on these, perhaps in the form of a paper written for your Beginning Sentiology course at Alderaan U. It can be great source material for writing characters and civilizations later on.

Anyone want to take on the task of drafting a brief overview of Bandokar - history, current social/political situations, etc. Are they a colony? Do they have a sentient aboriginal population? A major religion? What sort of exports are there? Etc. (Perhaps written as an entry for the Encyclopedia Galactica).

[C3POLaf]

Eddioboy, Sarak might be Arana's plastic surgeon, it might be the guy who set up the meeting between Mohrduk and Arana, or whatever. The fun of this story is, that it's all up to our imagination. The dark stranger eventually turned out to be Mohrduk, whom I envision as an ancient spirit. His stride and eyes reveal a wise vigour that belies his apparent age.

[lucie]

I just made Arana even nastier! Yay! A stunning, sexy redhead who devours her own parent, and hints of a society where that is the norm. Take that, you Freudians.

Thanks to C3POlaf for providing some history of Bandokar. I forsee some fun with the Sojis, who are starting to sound like mystics, perhaps Keepers of the Holy Widget that will confer power on the etc. etc.

But what can Mohrduk's plan be? How is he realted to Towleer? What are our hapless heros about to stumble across? Is Blix searching for high adventure and romance, or just a cushy desk job? And what would happen to all these civil servants if the Emperor were ever to be deposed?

Stay tuned....

[C3POLaf]

The only suggestion I made during Mohrduk's first appearance was that he wanted to get rid of AP to settle a score of sorts. I take it, AP doesn't currently know Mohrduk to be Mohrduk. Have they met before under different guises? Apparently she got poor old Mohrduk pretty upset, enough so to make him plan this elaborate trap. Maybe he doesn't know her at all and is just under marching orders from Palpatine. The quest for clarity continues...

[lucie]

Maybe he is even working the other side, working to bring Palpatine down. AP could be a useful tool regardless, and you get the feeling that Mohrduk is an "end-justifies-the-means" sort who would not care if our relatively innocent heroes were destroyed in the process.

[Jimness]

Mohrduk is definitely the heavy in this Sci-fi noir. Someone mentioned that he had a "debt" to pay to Empire, that's a cool idea. But personal revenge is always a useful motive.

Lucie mentioned that maybe we could link up Tolweer with Mohrduk somewhere along the line. My first thought was, no; but the more I think about it, it would make an interesting plot development down the line [Hee-hee-hee]. I suggest, however, that we develop their individual stories a little before bringing them together. We don't want to be too abrupt.

By the by, 3PO, I thought that was a great couple of paragraphs on Bandokar's history, much better than I was thinking up.

Eating your own mother? Yuk. But it gave me a good laugh first thing this morning.

[This message has been edited by Jimness (edited 09-15-1999).]

[C3POLaf]

Jimness, could Mohrduk have been the mysterious stranger in Tolweer's office earlier on? The only thing is that Tolweer handled this hitherto unknown character with only a slight amount of respect, which somehow doesn't feel right.

It would make Mohrduk into a buyer of arms and ships to fuel the rebellion later on, albeit apparently on behalf of some rebellious commander at present. That could then be the other side Lucie was referring to. He'd be "taking care" of both Arana as well as Palpatine in one go: nice shooting Mohrduk.....

PS: Eddioboy, do you think this Dainen character has a place in all this? For those who're lost here, Dainen's the guy that anchored the illicit rebellious broadcast, picked up by the resplendence's crew on their return to Imperial center. I'm as yet leaning towards no, as I find the current plot of the rebellion based upon the same greed that founded the Empire a nice one.

[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-16-1999).]

[C3POLaf]

OK, Lucie, I gather Arana might pull a nice Immelman on Mohrduk, right?

[lucie]

It's possible. We are setting up the bad guys to be really powerful, and our good guys are going to have a real hard time later on if there is no falling out among thieves. If Blix et al. can get in a position of being able to effectively play both ends against the middle, it could actually work. I don't know how yet, but we'll see.

By the way, would anyone mind if I wrote a brief essay (not in the course of the story) on the Noxan species? It would establish a few things without needing to take up a lot of exposition. I would encourage anyone else to do the same for other species or cultures.

[C3POLaf]

Good idea, I think that both "alien" and "predator" have met their match, let alone these whimpy Spielberg kiddies-in-costumes at Devil's Tower...

In a way, I'm drawn to liking Arana to our cockroach friend from MIB (Sorry, I forgot: no foul language permitted..)

[lucie]

Yeah, but the idea of Vincent D'Onofrio in drag is a little to stomach-churning, even for this story.

[C3POLaf]

Har, har, har! Your wit is fast. Will your little exposé be on a different thread, or do you intend to submit it on this one?

[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-16-1999).]

[lucie]

I thought perhaps to put it as it's own thread on "Creative Fan Fiction", but maybe I will do a less formal post on this thread instead. That way everyone can be involved and offer their opinions, rather than setting it stone right away. I will not be putting ut up until later, as I want to think about it a little more.

[JBMoney]

IMHO, posting supporting info on the Noxan species, or others, would be appropriate for another AOE thread in "Creative Fan Fiction".
It would be sort of an appendix.

I might title the topic: "AOE: Noxan Background" or something similar. You could spawn a whole new creative outlet, perhaps some Noxan "folklore" tales, etc.

[Jimness]

I hadn't thought of the person talking to Tolweer as a character, really, just as a messanger. A messanger from Mohrduk perhaps? That would be interesting, but I don't want to know right away. I like the idea of Mohrduk playing both sides, ie. both the Empire and the Rebellion--there had to be alot more double-crossing going on in this universe if the Rebellion was going to work in the first place.

In my next post, I thought I'd develop the relationship between Gib and Tolweer a little more. I'll be sure to work in some nice tidbits that'll help everyone else add to the story. I'll post that either tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.

I like the idea of essays on species/planets, etc. Maybe we could create a new folder just for that--SW universe encyclopedia, perhaps.

Nice work on bringing in the Force. This could have some real usefulness later on.

[Eddioboy]

C3POlaf asked about Dainen, the pirate broadcaster. I'm happy to let nature run its course where this character is concerned. If he reappears where it feels right for a character like him to do so, great. If we never hear from him, again, that's fine by me.

I agree that I don't think he would not mix in well with any of Mohrduk's associates or schemes. He sounds like an idealistic, university-style rebel ala Marius and friends from Les Miserables.

Possibly that part of the story exists only to introduce to Blix and company the very idea that there is real discontent within the Empire. Then again, he may show up in a different capacity altogether, to give the heroes information, as a love interest for Blix or Arana (gulp), or as the new guy in Shaft #602, at the spice mines of Kessel. Poor guy!

[lucie]

He may even pop up from time to time broadcasting underground news from different places around the galaxy as a sort of information guerilla. These kinds of things do happen in totalitarian states; unauthorized relays providing uncensored news to the masses and generating unrest. The idea is interesting enough to warrant it's own story. If anyone wants to start such a thing, I'd play. No reason to only have one story going at a time.

[C3POLaf]

I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. If you think this is just plain childish, I have no quarrel with those who wish our beloved moderator to click the delete button.

Come to think of it: please erase my latest post Lucie: it IS plain childish.

[This message has been edited by C3POLaf (edited 09-20-1999).]

[lucie]

Sorry, you don't get out of it that easy. I posted a follow-up to yours, so it is now part of history. Besides, it is a perfectly logical piece of action. We're in the "third world" now.

[Eddioboy]

In case you don't know, Rodians are what Greedo was. Bulgy eyes, kissy-pouty round lips at the end of anteater mouth, green skin, and small nubs protruding from the cranium that are a ball to run your fingers through.

[lucie]

Why Eddioboy, I would never have guessed...You, a closet Rhodiphile.

If anyone out there is offended by the nudity stuff, tough. It's a tropical planet and there is no reason to wear a lot of clothes when it's always hot and sticky outside, especially on a planet where you don't get a lot of direct sunlight. It just makes sense. Besides, Lucas leaves a lot of his non-human sentients without clothing, or with very little. Clearly this is not a problem, so presumably there are places where it is the norm for humans as well.

After all, if we have to look at Jabba the Hutt nekkid, why not Obi-wan, Han Solo or Amidala? (down, boys. Sit.) Okay, Obi-wan has to fight with a light-sabre and may be reluctant to risk an extra circumcision. Amidala may just be waiting for puberty. But Han doesn't seem to have any problems with shyness and his co-pilot wears only a bandolier.

Maybe GL will come out with his very special adults-only version, utilizing computer technology for it's intended purpose: porn.

[C3POLaf]

Ah well, it makes some sense anyway. Now for aliases. Who's willing to complicate matters further still?

I'm by now forced to read up on our heroes' and villains' progress after dark, due to the sultry heat suddenly eminating from my computer monitor... For once, the time difference comes in handy. I mean, Soji initiation rites, or just to think what a testosterone poisoned mercenary gang of Rodians and a scarcely clad Blix,..., ggrrrrr baby, yeah!

Anyway, I'm off conferencing in San Francisco for a week coming Sunday, subsequently spending three and a half well earned weeks of truffle hunting in Tuscany, yet again followed by a week of business travel (Miami Beach in November, no bad, hombre).

Why all this irrelevant personal info? Because I'll probably be off line for the coming five weeks or so.

I'm already curious to see where we stand by then.

[lucie]

By an amazing coincidence, I'm off myself, although for a few days only. No Tuscan vacation for me, just a few days of avoiding casinos in Reno (I hate gambling, with money anyhow. Why can't my family live somewhere more interesting?).

Come Sunday, I am going to write up a one-page summary of the story so far, and start a second thread for the story. It's starting to get difficult to remember what we've done so far and keep the details straight.

See y'all later.

[lucie]

I managed half of what I promised - there is a "story so far" synopsis on the Fiction forum, but I have not yet added a chapter. Anyone who wants to can start the next thread if I don't get in there first.

Also - please correct me on the synopsis if I committed any egregious errors or ommissions. I was trying to do the synopsis without adding commentary on characters or where I thought a particular bit was going.

[Eddioboy]

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! A guy died in the story! That's right, folks. Blood was spilt, get your paper, 10 cents today!